Nice Additions
-Dialogue - I like my characters to interact during sex, and not just 'oh oh oh', or 'yeah baby...' Sometimes banter shows their personalities and adds a layer to the scene.
-Sense of humor - I like to add humor to my sex scenes, whenever possible. Who said everything had to be serious and sensual?
This particular scene you're about to read has none of the above, but read All She Ever Wanted by Kenzie Michaels, and you'll see what I mean!
Homework:
Take one of your own love scenes you're struggling with or
write a new one using all the senses and that slow motion camera.
Practice stretching time in your scene so that you don't rush it.
You don't have to share your scene on the loop unless you want to,
but I'd love to hear what the experience was like and if the slow
motion camera helped.
Final Scene in Balancing Act, including deleted part:
“You...you
wouldn't mind if I were to get sent to South America ?”
“Not at
all. I know you're not thrilled about me
being in the Air Force—”
“Don't.” Gretchen placed two fingers over his
mouth. “Who knows what will happen in
the next couple of years? If we're
talking long-term here, I'm willing to wait.”
“Sweetheart,
you don't know how happy you just made me.”
His smile lit up the room and he held her tight against his chest. “Shall we break the news to the rest of the
clan?”
“I think
Stephanie, Lynne, and Susan already know.
Steph predicted I'd only be back for clean underwear!”
“Good. We haven't let her down. Join me in the shower?”
Gretchen
hesitated. “I tried it once, but it
really didn’t work out. Raincheck?”
“Awe, come
on. I guarantee you’ll enjoy this.” Troy
scrambled out of bed and held out his hand.
His winning
smile melted any misgivings.
“Okay.” I have to start trusting myself with him; he’s not going to hurt me. She
took his hand and followed him into the bathroom.
Salty semen
filled her mouth. She pulled away,
tipped her head back, and swallowed, grimacing at the taste. Troy
helped her to her feet and pulled her against his wet body. She pulled away and rinsed her mouth in the
shower spray, feeling one of his hands squeeze a breast while the other slid
around her hip. Gretchen leaned back
against him and closed her eyes as a finger found her clitoris and stroked.
“Oh God, Troy ….I want you inside….”
The sensations overpowered her, causing her knees to weaken.
“In a
minute. You’re beautiful, Gretch.” He took one of her hands and hooked it
around his neck while she whimpered and shook against his hand. “Easy, love.”
“Troy !” With a shout, she
sagged against him.
He shut off
the water and helped her out of the shower.
Troy
wrapped her in a towel and collected one for himself. “See?
I told you you’d enjoy it.”
Gretchen
wiped the water from her face. “I’m not
done yet.” She took his hand and led him
back to the bed.
(Deleted part)
“What’s so
funny?” he panted.
“Us. Do we need another shower?”
1 comment:
I do like to add humor to sex scenes. Funny things happen in the bedroom! :)
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