I began reading a Certain Book on Sunday, just to form my own opinion. And if you're a regular reader of this blog, you know it's rare I find a book I don't like. A good friend couldn't believe I didn't whip out my red pen for the Twilight series; I simply enjoyed the stories and didn't notice how many times B 'sighed' her way through. My issue with that series has been the movies; they're hard to hear, because everyone mumbles, or speaks too softly.
I've read others' reviews of this Certain Book, so I know what to look for by way of characterization and inconsistencies. And the first chapter didn't bother me, although I would have phrased things a little better. And then I moved on the Ch. 2.
And on pg 18, had to stop and get out my highlighter and pen. She's driving cautiously, because she's thinking of HIM. Yes, I get it. But in the next paragraph, she puts him out of her mind and suddenly realizes, "Hey, I can drive as fast as I want!"
Ummmm....no, you can't. You're on the interstate, and there's a speed limit, idiot! Yes, 5-10 mph over is acceptable, but pass the wrong cop and you WILL get pulled over.
Four pages later, I'm again pulled out of the story. She's thinking about her mom, and how bad she is with money. Mom lives in Georgia; she lives in Washington. And since Mom is married to #3, 'maybe he'll keep an eye on her since I'm not there...' Hello....if you're so worried about your mom's spending habits, what the hell are you doing clear across the country? Why didn't you attend a State University? Cause if Mom loses the house, you're stuck. Or did you pack up everything you owned and took it to college with you? I didn't take everything with me; Home was my base; the place I went on school vacations, and the place where some of my stuff is still there thirty years later. So yeah, I sooooo don't get this paragraph.
Three pages later, and my yellow highlighter is back in my hand. He has come all the way to the hardware store where she works (for even more humorous commentary on hardware stores, check out this post by Janice Seagraves!). And for the next three pages, she 'mutters' and he 'murmurs'. I was first pulled out of the story by her 'muttering'. Why? Let's check the definition:
Mutter: to utter words indistinctly or in a low tone, often as if talkingto oneself; murmur.
Murmur: to speak in a low tone or indistinctly.
Okay; I get the fact they're in a store, so yes, voices would be subdued. But would she really mutter her first name when he asks? Or when being business-like and helping him find the items he needs?
And on pg 31, after he apparently is doing a bad job of trying to hide his jealousy, I happen to agree with him when she wonders what his problem is. Yay...for once, an honest emotion!
But then he says her name and she goes all goey inside. Okay; what are you, fourteen? This girl was either very sheltered and not harbored any crushes in school, or is experiencing a very latent onset of hormones.
And since I just skipped ahead and read the first two pages of Ch 3, I've decided I'm not that fond of her BFF. Why?
-She's thrilled that the 'richest, most eligible bachelor on the planet gave you his cell number', but then sounds bitter because her BFF 'met him'. You're the one who got sick and had to send your BFF...too late for sour grapes.
-And if the BFF told you everything, then where is the caution? He blows hot and cold; don't you 'get' that? And advise caution? Oh but if she listened to you, why would I have 500 more pages to read? Or even two more books? And there's the whole 'I-don't-have-to-listen-to-you-you're-not-my-mom' thing.
And in case you were wondering, I had to put the book down after each chapter and picked up Cindy Spencer Pape's Holiday Hearts. For a comparison, I'm already on the last story of Cindy's book. It was MUCH easier on the eyes/brain! I predict I'll have to 'clear' my brain after every single chapter of this Certain Book, and there are twenty-three more.
Thank god I have nine or more print books and who knows how many e-books waiting in the wings!