I began reading a Certain Book on Sunday, just to form my own opinion. And if you're a regular reader of this blog, you know it's rare I find a book I don't like. A good friend couldn't believe I didn't whip out my red pen for the Twilight series; I simply enjoyed the stories and didn't notice how many times B 'sighed' her way through. My issue with that series has been the movies; they're hard to hear, because everyone mumbles, or speaks too softly.
I've read others' reviews of this Certain Book, so I know what to look for by way of characterization and inconsistencies. And the first chapter didn't bother me, although I would have phrased things a little better. And then I moved on the Ch. 2.
And on pg 18, had to stop and get out my highlighter and pen. She's driving cautiously, because she's thinking of HIM. Yes, I get it. But in the next paragraph, she puts him out of her mind and suddenly realizes, "Hey, I can drive as fast as I want!"
Ummmm....no, you can't. You're on the interstate, and there's a speed limit, idiot! Yes, 5-10 mph over is acceptable, but pass the wrong cop and you WILL get pulled over.
Four pages later, I'm again pulled out of the story. She's thinking about her mom, and how bad she is with money. Mom lives in Georgia; she lives in Washington. And since Mom is married to #3, 'maybe he'll keep an eye on her since I'm not there...' Hello....if you're so worried about your mom's spending habits, what the hell are you doing clear across the country? Why didn't you attend a State University? Cause if Mom loses the house, you're stuck. Or did you pack up everything you owned and took it to college with you? I didn't take everything with me; Home was my base; the place I went on school vacations, and the place where some of my stuff is still there thirty years later. So yeah, I sooooo don't get this paragraph.
Three pages later, and my yellow highlighter is back in my hand. He has come all the way to the hardware store where she works (for even more humorous commentary on hardware stores, check out this post by Janice Seagraves!). And for the next three pages, she 'mutters' and he 'murmurs'. I was first pulled out of the story by her 'muttering'. Why? Let's check the definition:
Mutter: to utter words indistinctly or in a low tone, often as if talkingto oneself; murmur.
Murmur: to speak in a low tone or indistinctly.
Okay; I get the fact they're in a store, so yes, voices would be subdued. But would she really mutter her first name when he asks? Or when being business-like and helping him find the items he needs?
And on pg 31, after he apparently is doing a bad job of trying to hide his jealousy, I happen to agree with him when she wonders what his problem is. Yay...for once, an honest emotion!
But then he says her name and she goes all goey inside. Okay; what are you, fourteen? This girl was either very sheltered and not harbored any crushes in school, or is experiencing a very latent onset of hormones.
And since I just skipped ahead and read the first two pages of Ch 3, I've decided I'm not that fond of her BFF. Why?
-She's thrilled that the 'richest, most eligible bachelor on the planet gave you his cell number', but then sounds bitter because her BFF 'met him'. You're the one who got sick and had to send your BFF...too late for sour grapes.
-And if the BFF told you everything, then where is the caution? He blows hot and cold; don't you 'get' that? And advise caution? Oh but if she listened to you, why would I have 500 more pages to read? Or even two more books? And there's the whole 'I-don't-have-to-listen-to-you-you're-not-my-mom' thing.
And in case you were wondering, I had to put the book down after each chapter and picked up Cindy Spencer Pape's Holiday Hearts. For a comparison, I'm already on the last story of Cindy's book. It was MUCH easier on the eyes/brain! I predict I'll have to 'clear' my brain after every single chapter of this Certain Book, and there are twenty-three more.
Thank god I have nine or more print books and who knows how many e-books waiting in the wings!
28 comments:
Better you than me. I quit after 50 pages and found something else to read...
I'm on pg 32 and already want to quit. But, being the stubborn thing I am, I'll try one more chapter or slog through the whole thing once chapter per day.
I'd like to read it some day just to see what the big deal is...but thanks for the warning about all the muttering and mumbling!! I'll be sure to brace myself!
you made it farther than me but I love finding all the really funny moments in there like "taking you from behind..."
I feel your pain Molly! It drives me nuts when I read books that are poorly written and hardly edited. Just because it's popular, like Twilight & 50 Shades (there, I said it too) doesn't mean you can skip ediitng because you know it will sell.
And don't get me started on a dozen POVs in one book! thanks for letting me vent =)
Now I'm wondering what the book. Would like to see it just out of curiosity. You may have accidentally used reverse psychology and given it some publicity.
@Linda: I still encourage people to read it if they're intrigued. Make up your own mind:)
@Liz: Just bought 10 kindle books so I definitely have more reading material to 'clear my head', lol!
@Terri: I don't mind multiple POV's; but I do wish I knew what was going on in HIS head. Her observations and jumping to conclusions are driving me nuts. That's part of the reason I gave Kyle a voice in my 3rd book; I felt I wasn't being fair to him. I first wrote it in 1st person, then later switched it.
@ Tony-Paul: I think everyone who's reviewed it has done just that; made people wonder 'It can't be all THAT bad, can it?' That's why I bought not one, but two copies. The other one I display on my table at signings, with a note: 'If you've read this and liked it, you'll LOVE Kenzie's work!'
And now I'll be able to discuss it with people who HAVE read it and think it's wonderful.
...mutters to self...yeah, I know how you feel. Was this a self-pubbed book? Or this by a well-known author? Sighs. Murmurs to you, "stop now..."
...mutters to self...yeah, I know how you feel. Was this a self-pubbed book? Or this by a well-known author? Sighs. Murmurs to you, "stop now..."
I read until the hardware store/got a photo shoot bit. The typo in the acknologements was the first twitch of WTF.
There are only 2 opinions on this book LOVE/HATE.
I hate to admit I'm closer to right wing on this one.
You're braver than me, Molly. I haven't even tried. And thanks SO MUCH for the plug! I'm glad you're enjoying the Holiday siblings. :)
I'm still a newbie in the writing world, but a very experienced reader. I couldn't get past the bad grammar. You got further than I did. Loved your post, Lynda
@Fran: (murmurs) lol:)
@AJ: Now I'll have to go back and find that typo. I didn't have my spelling editor hat on...
@Cindy: You know I shout to the world about the books I LOVE! Notice I didn't give the author or title of this particular book, lol:)
@Lynda: I have a habit of correcting grammar issues in my head, unless there are so many I can't stand it! And as I can only read one chapter at a time, this may actually be the one book I quit reading, though I'm determined to slog my way through, even if I have to wait WEEKS between chapters, lol.
If it's the book I think you are talking about, I barely managed two pages without rolling my eyes and closing the sample read. If I am going to read for pleasure, it has to be pleasurable. LOL I won't waste my time on something that painful and stupid. :D
Marci
I simply can't stand mistakes that a good editing should correct. I'm judging a contest now, and some of the editing is atrocious? Why, why, why not at least have a good beta editor?
Thank you for the plug for my post on RB4U. :D
Janice~
@Marci: I also read for the pleasure, but sometimes my need to 'finish' something overrides my need to pitch it across the room:)
@Jean: I know; I tried to critique something once and it gave me a headache to put in the lost punctuation. Finally I suggested she find another crit partner.
@Janice: The tie-in was too good to pass up! Your post was very timely, and hilarious!
It's lying on the counter in my kitchen. I don't think I'm going to bother. I'm like you--too many other things I WANT to read. :-)
I decided not to even bother. What I've heard has been mostly negative so why waste my money. I'd rather read Molly, Kenzie, Linda Kage, Anny Cook, Cindy Spencer Pape, Liz Crowe and a whole bunch of other good authors. ;) Sorry if I missed anyone...I'm thinking of you all.
Excellent post. I've not read "the book that shall not be named" because I've heard about the bad writing and I know my inner editor would go bonkers. Besides, I have too many well-written books I need to read.
Any book that is inconsistent drives me crazy! I'm reading a different one right now - "firm softness" is one example of something to me that cancels out what the author is trying to say. I'm having a difficult time finishing! And anything I have to skip over parts because there is too much "information" that doesn't need to be there - UGH. I put it down.
@Liz: At least try to read it and form your own opinion? If anything, read it for 'what not to do', lol...
@Amber: Awwww, you're so sweet!
@Cara: Thanks for stopping by:) And I hear you; that's why I'm only reading a chapter per day and other books at the same time.
@Kellie: 'Firm softness'? Talk about an oxymoron...and welcome back! Glad you had a nice vacation:)
I'm mining through your emails trying to figure out what book you're talking about. Hmmmm, I haven't heard of a book that's getting a lot of talk. Waaaa ... I hate being left out in the dark!
I'm mining through your emails trying to figure out what book you're talking about. Hmmmm, I haven't heard of a book that's getting a lot of talk. Waaaa ... I hate being left out in the dark!
@Nina: 50 Shades Of Gray is the (gag me) book:) As I stated in today's post (9/4), I will GLADLY send you my unmarked copy when I'm finished reading it!
@Nina: Unless you were kidding???
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