Thursday, June 27, 2013

Friendship

Currently Reading:  Picture Perfect was wonderful!  It only slightly mirrors my own paranormal story, so it gave me hope that when I do finally finish mine, the premise CAN be plausible:)  Also finished Desiree Holt's Eagle's Run and Cindy Spencer Pape's Eagle's Redemption.  WOW!  All three of these are Recommended Reads from me:)  Print-wise, I finished Nora Roberts' Heaven and Earth and now I want to read the other two in this series.  Opened up Regina Carlysle's Eagle Refuge and am about halfway through JD Robb's Reunion In Death, which is only my 2nd Eve Dallas story.  I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the scenes with Eve and Roarke:)

Edit Update:  As I mentioned yesterday, Steve's death hit me harder than I thought.  I'm finally getting back on track, and finding my motivation.  I'm currently on page 64, and still have to add 3 pages to Ch. 4.  Slow internet last weekend, plus no motivation, really hindered me this week.  But with the help of crit partner BC Brown, I was able to knock out ten pages:)


Who was your first friend?  Do you remember all the stupid stuff you did together?  Are you still friends today?  If not, do you remember why?  And what kind of friend are you to others?

The first (girl) friend I remember is Kim.  She lived just down the street from me, and was closest to my age. She was the youngest of three; I was the oldest of two.  We'd listen to her sisters' records, play Barbies, or pretend we were practicing for the circus on her jungle gym.  I swam in her pool in the summer; we rode bikes together; and our parents threatened to take down our swing sets/jungle gym when we got the idea to perform our antics on the very TOP bars, and got hung up on the screws.  Our dads rescued us at least twice, plus we ripped many shirts before that threat was issued.

Why did we stop being friends?  I can trace it back to when I was in the 4th grade and she in 3rd.  I think she realized I wasn't a 'cool kid' in my grade, and she wanted to hang out with the 'cool kids' in hers.  And it really came to a head three years later when she asked me NOT to choose her for the 6th grade tour of the middle school when I was in the 7th grade.  Fine; I chose two other 'un-cool' 6th graders I liked, and the three of us had a good time.  I don't even remember speaking to Kim after that.

The few girls I reached out for friendship in my own grade rejected me or made fun of me behind my back.  My best friend in the 5th grade moved, and we didn't reconnect until after my senior year of HS.  The few female friends I had in HS either went to other schools or were a year ahead or behind in school.  My BFF was male, though we went through a 'love-hate' relationship for about six months, when he stopped listening to his friends' lies about me.  We realized neither one of us would judge the other, though we did reserve the right to (loudly) voice our opinion of the other's 'stupid' actions:  Me taking back my on-again/off-again boyfriend; him for taking the Head Cheerleader to the prom instead of me, lol!

In college, I met my first female BFF.  Something 'just told me' we would end up being good friends when we spoke for 2 hours on the phone.  Took her seven months to realize it, lol, but she's my best friend in the whole world and I love her dearly.  We tried to have our girls at the same time, but my 'firecracker' popped out 3 weeks early, while hers 'cooked' for two extra weeks.  Both girls graduated this past year, and are on two entirely different tracks:  Hers is headed to Indiana State University, to possibly go into Occupational Therapy while my baby girl is now a single mom.  I'm hoping she decides to continue her childhood dream of being a Vet Tech.  She's not that great with people, but outstanding with animals!

Even in my adult life, I have many acquaintances, and a few close friends.  I learned the hard way not to open up too fast, because you might get burned.  My current BFFs in town are just now hearing stories I've watered down in the past 4 years, because of trust issues.  And you know what?  They still love me, even though one is about to move across the country.  But what I learned seven years ago when I moved away from my friends in Morgan County was that with Face Book, we can still keep in touch.  Plus, with unlimited calling on cell phones, there's no longer the need to limit a call to 10 minutes or huge phone bills and angry spouses yelling 'You talked to her for HOW LONG/HOW MANY TIMES?'

Ahhh yes....the good ole days....NOT!

I digress.  The point of all this rambling?  Though it takes me a while to warm up to people or open up (I would probably be one of the 1st to be voted off Survivor or else fly under the radar and be the 1st on the jury, if I could stand it that long, lol!), if you become my friend, you've got a friend for life.  I can tolerate an amazing amount of conflicting values and opinions as long as you don't try to force your beliefs down my throat.  I'll usually give 2nd chances, or even 3rds, but too often and I'll hold you at arm's length.

I am the keeper of secrets; the one who will cheer you up when you're down; the one who'll comfort you in pain.  If I disagree with a choice you make, I may yell at you one minute, then hug you the next.  After all, it's YOUR life, not mine.

So I ask you again:  What kind of friend are you?

12 comments:

VICKI BATMAN, said...

What a thoughtful post. I had a great friend until middle school and I guess I went into the uncool column. It took me a while to find my place afterwards and really, when I met my best friend while working at an amusement park, I found good friendship. Still are after all these years.

I'd like to think we have unlimited friendship possibilities. And with social media now, why not hang on? To quote It's a Wonderful Life, "No man is a failure when he has friends."

Melissa Keir said...

I was also in the uncool column. I'm facing my 30 year class reunion in two weeks. I'm so nervous because most of the people there won't remember me. I was invisible. I hope to change that. :)

I'm glad that I can call you friend. You are super supportive and so caring. Those are the best qualities in a friend.

Word Actress said...

I'm from Massachusetts where people really are
friends for life. I've lived in California for nearly
20 years now, so I see people moving in and out of
the area. I've never had time for lots of friends so
I choose them very carefully. I am one of the lucky ones, though, really good people love me.
My bestie is still a friend I met when I was 18.
We have been through EVERYTHING together across
the miles. I couldn't live without her!
To Melissa going to your 30th reunion, splurge and
buy yourself a FAB outfit and a great lipstick or gloss
or BOTH. Stand up tall with pride and knock 'em dead!

Molly Daniels said...

@Vicki: I'd love to hear that story! Amusement park? How fun!

@Melissa: You know my Reunion stories, so won't repeat them here. But I'm with Word Actress: Hold your head high, wear something you feel good in (the fab outfit, not your comfy yoga pants, lol!), and don't forget to take your business cards! Once people discover you're an author, they'll want to know ALL about it:)

And thank you sweetie:)

@Word Actress: Couldn't have said it better myself! And those are some of the best friends; the ones who stick by you in all your antics:) They also have some of the best stories on you!

Harlie Reader said...

Loved the post Molly.

Growing up I as always friends with everyone. More with the boys than with girls. My brother was in the grade below me so most our friends were the same. Of course, there were the girls that only wanted to be my friend because of my brother. Yuck!

Now a days, I don't have too many friends. Most people don't know what to think about me since I'm not a minion, groupie, yes mam person or a conference whore.

My bestie still lives in Dallas and I still talk to her but our lives are completely different now. I'm a mother of an 8 yr old and she is now a grandmother of two.

Melissa...Good luck with the reunion. My 30th will in 2015. Not sure if I will go but I am thinking about it. I loved my 20th class reunion.

Marika/Harlie

Cara Marsi said...

I always had one or two good friends. Whereas my sister always had a posse. My first BFF from grade school got married and had a baby at 15. We kept in touch, then I went onto to live my life and we didn't see each other for decades. We've recently reconnected through FB.

I had two BFF's in HS. Both of them moved away. I'm no longer in touch with them. I'm quiet and a little shy so I don't open up readily to people. Through the years whatever boyfriend I had became my BFF. Now my husband is my BFF. I have girlfriends, other writers, but we don't hang out and do "girl" things and we rarely talk on the phone. After working for the phone company for 25 years I really hate the phone.

Tabitha Shay said...

Great post, Miss Molly,
I had a couple of best friends from grade 1-7, and I still see them occasionally. We speak and that's about it. After 7th grade, we moved around a lot and it was difficult to make a friend for life. I married my junior year and dropped out of high school my senior year. After that, I was too busy being a wife and mother to worry about making friends. It wasn't until years later I met three ladies at far different times and we are still pals and still email each other today...

Jan Scarbrough said...

Molly, I enjoyed your blog. I really enjoyed your reading list. Oh, my! I don't read anything like that. It seems the day job, after work activities and my own writing takes my time away from reading. I need to get back to it. I miss it!

Molly Daniels said...

@Harlie: I'm not a leader, but I will roll up my sleeves and work my butt off in a pinch. I still miss the bookstore; we had such a good time setting it up and planning events...and it got me out of the house where I could write and read for hours without hearing 'Mom' or 'Get off that damn computer!'

@Cara: Since I've learned to text, I hate talking on the phone also! I loved Caller ID, and now with the cell, I prefer texts, as long as I keep the answers short.

Molly Daniels said...

@Tabs: I think it's crucial to maintain girlfriends even after marriage. I didn't do that for years and struggled with a severe identity crisis; I didn't know who I was anymore outside of K's mommy or D's wife, and it scared me.

@Jan: I plan my reading time. Even if it's just an hour before bed, or a half hour break from the edits/writing. And I've saved the majority of my Kindle books for the vacation next month. Yes, I need to write while we're driving and enjoying Rocky Mtn Nat'l Park, but I also want to read. Going to be somewhat of a working vacation, but also relaxing.

jean hart stewart said...

Lots of wonderful thoughts expressed here. Not much I can add, except you can't replace a true friend. Add a new one, yes, but not replace.

Molly Daniels said...

Very true Jean! Very true!