Thursday, September 24, 2009

Is This A No-No?

Currently Reading: I'm up to Ch. 8 on Drake's Rules:) If you've not read this book, go get it and pay attention to Ch. 7! So far, it's my favorite scene in the entire 65 pages read so far! Barb, you've done a wonderful job! I'm going to reward myself with some more later, if I accomplish my writing goal for the day!

Word Count yesterday: 1647. BIG improvement over Tuesday's 900:)

You're reading along, when all of a sudden, the conversation you're reading takes a strange turn. Here are two people, old friends who haven't seen each other in years, who decided to sleep together Saturday night. She's had a crush on him for years; he's a committment-phobe who just wants some fun. But he's discovered he enjoys her company, and is beginning to fight his feelings. During their second night together, he brings up a dangerous topic. Keep in mind, she's flying home the next day, and they don't know when they'll see each other again.

If you read the following, would you stop reading?

“How long has it been since you’ve slept with someone?” His fingers smoothed her hair from her forehead.
“At least two months,” she whispered. “You?”
“You don’t want to know…not now.” He kissed her, but she pulled away.
“We said we’d be honest with each other,” she reminded him. “Or does that only apply to certain questions?”
“Just trust me on this one. I’m single; that’s all you need to know right now.” He reached for her, but she rolled away. “Damn it, Natalie….”
“Just answer the question. You’re single, but you have, what, a favorite call girl or something?”
“Do you really need to know this right now?”
“What’s the problem, Brian? You’re the one who asked me about my prior sex life. Don’t you think I have the right to ask about yours? Unless you have a habit of picking up hookers…thank God you bought the condoms the other night. At least you care enough to practice safe sex.”
“I don’t pick up hookers. I don’t do that.”
“Then what’s the problem?” She reached over and turned on the light. “Do you or do you not have sex with anyone on a regular basis?” Natalie hugged the blankets to her chest.
“I-okay, you want to know? Fine, I’ll tell you.” Brian sat up and faced her, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light. “Yes, I get together on a semi-regular basis with a woman who I met a few years ago. We have an arrangement, and meet once a week for a drink and to relax a little. There’s nothing serious going on; we just talk and enjoy each other for a couple of hours. Is that so bad?”
“Are you…..never mind. I guess I don’t have the right to ask.” Natalie bit her lip.
“Am I going to see her this week? I don’t know. I told you this wasn’t going to be anything more than just a weekend thing, Natalie.”
“I know; I’m sorry I pushed the issue.” She snapped off the light, but stayed curled up on her side of the bed. “I guess I walked into that one.”
“No, I’m the one who started it. I’m not going to apologize for my lifestyle…”
“And you shouldn’t have to. You’re right; this is nothing more than a weekend fling.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
Oh god…Part of her wanted to scream yes, and the other part wanted to shout no. Tears unexpectedly pooled in her eyes. “No. I…like you where you are,” she said in a small voice.
“Nat…” Gentle hands stroked her bare shoulders as the rest of his body hesitantly curved around hers. “Just let me hold you.”

Fortunately, there is still time to edit this out if it's too much of a hot button issue. What's your take? Would you tell the guy to get lost? Or would you email the author with a nasty note?

Goals For Today:
-Start Ch. 5 and get her on that airplane (or at least to the airport?)
-Laundry day.
-Stay's going to rain all day.
-Revise the above part, if everyone hates it! You know how sometimes characters don't always behave the way you want them to? Classic example. A 'What the hell...' moment about halfway through!


Mona Risk said...

Molly, good for you for making time to read.

Molly Daniels said...

Hahahaha...I started reading during lunch and haven't done anything else! I thought ch 7 was funny? Wait till you read ch 10!!

barbara huffert said...

Huge grin here! I love chapter 10.

Your conversation is very realistic. If it fits the story, I'd leave it in. You want readers to feel, to react.