I was spiritually slapped this morning. Forgiveness is the topic for the next several days, and it dawned on me that I'm still carrying around a seed of resentment toward a member of my old community.
Some might say I have reason to still be angry; this person was responsible for kicking me out of a prominent position in our small community, and was also responsible for causing a huge crack between loyalies.
And even though this happened over six years ago, I feel the same animosity toward him as I did back then.
When I saw him last weekend, I waved to his wife (who I bear no animosity towards...she's always been friendly) and spoke to her about my books. He, on the other hand, ignored me completely. Fine.
But when I arrived home and was recounting everyone I had seen, his name came up and my husband launched into a recap of everything the man had done to destroy my credibility and the organization's.
And then I read this a few moments ago: The grace that God pours out on each of us should be our motivation and example. If we have received his loving pardon, then we simply must do the same for others, even when it seems difficult or unfair.
Forgiveness is far more than a simple 'I forgive you' statement. It involves a total change of action and attitude that declares, "Though you wronged me, I love and forgive you. I wish you the best and will help you however I can." Pray for those who wrong you, and release your resentment.
While I try not to retaliate when I'm wronged (yes, I've done it in the past, and have only prolonged the hurt!), I am guilty of holding onto the hurt and using it to make myself feel good when I need an ego boost. And I've done that this week, by rehashing old hurts with D. So starting today, I'm going to try something new: I'm going to include this man in my daily prayers, and when I see him again next year I should see some change in either my attitude or his. Most likely mine, but who cares? Hey...it worked for the relationship between myself and neighbor once!
Stupid Saying
Today's saying caught my eye because it was a sign in my hometown! Enjoy:)
Used Cars: These cars won't last long! (Actual sign on now-defunct auto dealership)
Yesterday's was better:
Reason for more bear sightings? More bears! (Actual newspaper headline)
Check in with the blogs to the right. Maybe someone else has a lighter discussion for today!
2 comments:
Forgiving and forgetting is hard - believe me, I have trouble with it sometimes, too, so I understand - but it's also for our benefit, just not for the person we hold the grudge against. It helps us to feel better if we can let it go.
However, something I struggled with is: does forgiving and forgetting mean that we have to trust or like the person ever again if what happened is likely to happen again? If they left such a sour taste in our mouths that we just no longer care for them? If we don't trust them?
I guess I'm not to the point I need to be with some of the people I've had trouble with.
I equate forgiveness with seeing the person and knowing the ill feelings are gone. That didn't happen last weekend; the hurt is still with me. I'll see what happens next year!
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