Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Flashback: Turning Point

Currently Reading: Sporting Wood by Cindy Spencer Pape is AWESOME! And it's a FREE READ, so go over to the EC site and get your own copy! Highly Recommend it! I'm also up to Chapter 6 of Tea Trelawny's Fill 'Er Up. It's a little confusing, with two ghosts, an older couple, and a younger couple, but the pieces are beginning to fall into place and I'm liking this one! It's also over at EC.

Twenty years ago today, I learned a valuable lesson. Well, okay. To be fair, THREE lessons.

1) Be careful of what I say

2) The unconditional love of a parent

3) Never trust a condom which appears out of a man's wallet.

August 19, 1990.

I'd stayed home from work, having woken up slightly queasy. Around eleven o'clock, I called my BFF and a bit of childish teasing occurred:

B: Hey, did I tell you I'm getting married?

M: No! You are? When? Congratulations!

B: Thanks. Not for another year or so.

M: You want my news? I'm pregnant:)

B: I'm going to be an uncle? Whoo hoo! When are you due?

M: About the same time as your wedding.

Fast-forward several minutes....
B: Hey Mol, I'm only kidding. I'm not really getting married.

M: That's okay. I'm not really pregnant!

Six hours later, I'm in the hospital with what I've believed is an attack of appendicitis.'s a tubal pregnancy. I'm stunned; how did this happen? The Idiot and I were NOT sleeping together, and the good-looking 'rebound' had provided protection. So this was a total shock.

While waiting to be wheeled into surgery, I made a phone call.

M: Hey B, remember our teasing earlier? Well, turns out one of us wasn't lying after all...

B: Oh my god....are you okay? Is there anything I can do?

M: No; it's in my tubes. I'm in the hospital, awaiting surgery....

B: I'm so sorry....I wish I could be there....Call me if you need anything.

You'd think, at 24 years of age, I would have learned by now my parents could handle anything. But when I could not keep the REASON for my surgery from my father, I learned something else: Sometimes silence can be worse than a lecture.

My dad and I have had our issues, and when he gets mad, he scolds. So here I am, lying in a hospital bed, still not quite grasping the reality of my careless actions, and all Dad asked was, "Is it (Idiot's name)?"


Dad just dropped his head. I had braced myself for another scolding, and when he didn't say anything, I cried buckets, apologized profusely, and asked him to yell at me. He didn't. Just said he loved me and he'd be waiting when I came out of surgery.

Mom was at Band Camp, so I wasn't subjected to her reaction and subsequent disappointment for several months.

I was released the next day, Aug 20th, and requested the Olive Garden for lunch. But thirty minutes into it, I was sore and needed to go home. That's the only time I've ever taken a doggy bag from that restaurant.

And it's funny; several months later I calculated if the child had lived, it would have born the following April. And I find it interesting that fifteen years later, my own niece would be born on the very day I lost my first one.

I didn't even acknowledge it as a miscarriage until 1994; my older children learned of it when I was pregnant with my youngest, having to undergo genetic counseling, since I was over age 35. They've asked a few questions, and I've been honest with them.

And so lesson #3 is pretty obvious by now. Ladies, be responsible when it comes to birth control! I saw my miscarriage as a message to change my life and grow up. Others aren't so lucky to be given a second chance.


Did anyone else SEE Wednesday's episode of Big Brother? Rachel returned for one day and Ragan let her have it! It was an in-your-face-no-holds-barred-tell-it-like-it-is confrontation! I want him in my corner, should I ever need defending:) Way to go!

And thankfully, Matt used his Diamond Power of Veto to put up Kathy and she's gone:) Now let's see what Brittany will do...

Have a good weekend:) I'm off to the Farmer's Market again in the morning, and this afternoon, we head to the dentist for the youngling. A Jolly Rancher attached itself to one of his two crowns and pulled it loose. And with no pediatric dentist in town, we're off to Terre Haute this afternoon.


Amber Skyze said...


Have a good weekend.

barbara huffert said...

I'm still working on Plan B. I'll make it a really good one and share.

Sandra Cox said...

My gosh, Molly. You had quite a time of it. You're a strong woman. I'm glad life is good to you now.