Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Flashback: Turning Point

Currently Reading: Sporting Wood by Cindy Spencer Pape is AWESOME! And it's a FREE READ, so go over to the EC site and get your own copy! Highly Recommend it! I'm also up to Chapter 6 of Tea Trelawny's Fill 'Er Up. It's a little confusing, with two ghosts, an older couple, and a younger couple, but the pieces are beginning to fall into place and I'm liking this one! It's also over at EC.

1990:
Twenty years ago today, I learned a valuable lesson. Well, okay. To be fair, THREE lessons.

1) Be careful of what I say

2) The unconditional love of a parent

3) Never trust a condom which appears out of a man's wallet.

August 19, 1990.

I'd stayed home from work, having woken up slightly queasy. Around eleven o'clock, I called my BFF and a bit of childish teasing occurred:

B: Hey, did I tell you I'm getting married?

M: No! You are? When? Congratulations!

B: Thanks. Not for another year or so.

M: You want my news? I'm pregnant:)

B: I'm going to be an uncle? Whoo hoo! When are you due?

M: About the same time as your wedding.

Fast-forward several minutes....
B: Hey Mol, I'm only kidding. I'm not really getting married.

M: That's okay. I'm not really pregnant!

Six hours later, I'm in the hospital with what I've believed is an attack of appendicitis. Surprise...it's a tubal pregnancy. I'm stunned; how did this happen? The Idiot and I were NOT sleeping together, and the good-looking 'rebound' had provided protection. So this was a total shock.

While waiting to be wheeled into surgery, I made a phone call.

M: Hey B, remember our teasing earlier? Well, turns out one of us wasn't lying after all...

B: Oh my god....are you okay? Is there anything I can do?

M: No; it's in my tubes. I'm in the hospital, awaiting surgery....

B: I'm so sorry....I wish I could be there....Call me if you need anything.

You'd think, at 24 years of age, I would have learned by now my parents could handle anything. But when I could not keep the REASON for my surgery from my father, I learned something else: Sometimes silence can be worse than a lecture.

My dad and I have had our issues, and when he gets mad, he scolds. So here I am, lying in a hospital bed, still not quite grasping the reality of my careless actions, and all Dad asked was, "Is it (Idiot's name)?"

"No."

Dad just dropped his head. I had braced myself for another scolding, and when he didn't say anything, I cried buckets, apologized profusely, and asked him to yell at me. He didn't. Just said he loved me and he'd be waiting when I came out of surgery.

Mom was at Band Camp, so I wasn't subjected to her reaction and subsequent disappointment for several months.

I was released the next day, Aug 20th, and requested the Olive Garden for lunch. But thirty minutes into it, I was sore and needed to go home. That's the only time I've ever taken a doggy bag from that restaurant.

And it's funny; several months later I calculated if the child had lived, it would have born the following April. And I find it interesting that fifteen years later, my own niece would be born on the very day I lost my first one.

I didn't even acknowledge it as a miscarriage until 1994; my older children learned of it when I was pregnant with my youngest, having to undergo genetic counseling, since I was over age 35. They've asked a few questions, and I've been honest with them.

And so lesson #3 is pretty obvious by now. Ladies, be responsible when it comes to birth control! I saw my miscarriage as a message to change my life and grow up. Others aren't so lucky to be given a second chance.

OMG!

Did anyone else SEE Wednesday's episode of Big Brother? Rachel returned for one day and Ragan let her have it! It was an in-your-face-no-holds-barred-tell-it-like-it-is confrontation! I want him in my corner, should I ever need defending:) Way to go!

And thankfully, Matt used his Diamond Power of Veto to put up Kathy and she's gone:) Now let's see what Brittany will do...

Have a good weekend:) I'm off to the Farmer's Market again in the morning, and this afternoon, we head to the dentist for the youngling. A Jolly Rancher attached itself to one of his two crowns and pulled it loose. And with no pediatric dentist in town, we're off to Terre Haute this afternoon.

3 comments:

Amber Skyze said...

Scary!

Have a good weekend.

barbara huffert said...

I'm still working on Plan B. I'll make it a really good one and share.

Sandra Cox said...

My gosh, Molly. You had quite a time of it. You're a strong woman. I'm glad life is good to you now.