Thursday, May 29, 2008

How to Handle a Critical Remark

Currently Reading: Lady of Quality by Georgette Heyer. It started off a little dry; I had no problem putting it down after the first chapter, but I wanted to keep reading after I finished the third one! But as it was nearly midnight, I put it down. I'll probably have it finished by this weekend.

E-book: Finally finished Cheryl Dragon's book, Sorority Girl Pledge Time. I enjoyed it, and was thankful it ended happily. I was wondering about a certain plot twist...Next up is Servant of Magic, by Elyssa Lynne. Just finished reading SOM, and boy is it GOOD! It's definitely a 'must read':)

I'm having some difficulty processing a remark made by a loved one yesterday.

I happened to call at the wrong time, and was very snappishly told, "Some people actually work for a living."

I started to lose my temper, but checked myself (thankfully!) and was able to end the call on a civil note, instead of tears and slamming the receiver into the cradle.

This person and I have been close friends for over two decades; she is going through a difficult life-change, and is probably over-stressed. She's changed jobs; moved; and we really haven't connected in several months. But this was after office hours; I just wanted to reach out say 'hi', and instead, got a grouchy, snarly person who took my head off for calling at the wrong time.

I'm just going to back off and give her space for a few more weeks. Maybe she's waking up this morning, regretting her choice of words. Or maybe she thinks she's justified. At any rate, should I send her a quiet email, reminding her I cannot read her mind; I did not know she was working late; and all I wanted was to let her know I was thinking of her? Or should I just let it go and see what happens in two weeks?

How do you handle friends who have apparantly gone over to the dark side, or had aliens take over their bodies?


Mary said...

I would let it go for a few days. Then maybe send an email and say "I'd like to chat and catch up, but I don't know your work schedule and do not want to call at the wrong time. What time would be good for you?"

That way it gives her a chance to think maybe she was a little snappish and also she can let you know, so that she doesn't call you at a writing time.

I have the "some people work for a living a lot."
Good luck,

barbara huffert said...

You work damn hard, Molly. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. I agree with what Mary said. Give her some time and then put it out there.

Molly Daniels said...

Thanks Mary...I like the 'what time would be good for you' question. I did not think of that earlier!

I did work hard today; got several things accomplished while everyone was gone! Too bad I couldn't have an entire week like this:)

Mona Risk said...

Molly, you are a very sweet person. I don't think a friend has the right to be rude just because she is tired or stressed, She could have just said: I am going through a rough time and need space.

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Amarinda Jones said...

"How do you handle friends who have apparantly gone over to the dark side, or had aliens take over their bodies?" say that like it's a bad thing....