Another Angel Joins Heaven

 1985

(Four girls singing El Shaddai by Amy Grant in back seat of parents' car)

"You girls sound like four angels singing!" praised the girl's mother.

And just like that, the Four Angels were born.

It all started with a phone call.

"Hi, I'm Erica, and we're going to be roommates.....(90 minutes later)....Look forward to meeting you in person!"

Fast-forward to August 1984.

I arrived first, and claimed 'my spot', then Kristy arrived and chose a bed on the opposite side.  Later that afternoon, Enette arrived and claimed the bed on Kristy's side, then left to help her sister move in to her dorm at IU.  Kris and I attended the BTS dance and met two guys from Harrison Hall, then returned to our room.

The next day, Kristy's friend Ginny moved in on the opposite side of the dorm, then Erica arrived and moved in on my side of the room.  Enette arrived soon after, and she and Erica immediately 'clicked'.

We all 'clicked' as roommates, though Kris spent a lot of her time with her HS friend Ginny. We went to meals together, watched the same soap operas, and commiserated over boys.

Enette had stopped going to classes by March, and did not return the following year.  A new girl, Jill, moved into our dorm, but within a month, it was clear she wasn't a good 'fit'.  Erica had met Billie Jo in one of her classes, and when it was revealed Billie was unhappy with her living arrangements, and we were looking for a new roomie, the switch was made.

Billie, Erica, and I were Social Work majors; Kris was Early Childhood Ed.

Kris had learning issues and didn't return after the 2nd year. I graduated Dec 1986 and moved onto Ball State; Erica graduated six months later and roomed with me. Billie had switched her major to Sports Health, but didn't return after 1987.

We all kept in touch through me.

Relationships:

I was close to all three; Billie and Erica had a very close relationship, with Billie sometimes being a 'Mother Hen' to all of us (Erica actually had that title, ha ha!)

Erica and I had bonded in April 1985 when we dated a pair of friends, and spent two wonderful weeks with them.

Billie had a current b/f she was trying to unload, and encouraged him to pursue me.  We had an interesting 6 mo relationship, with me holding him at arm's length, knowing that all Billie had to do was snap her fingers and he'd go running back to her.  I turned out to be wrong; he actually fell for another girl who was a fellow camp counselor at MDA camp, then dated Kris for about a year.

When he and I officially broke up over him choosing the other girl over me by this time, Kris was the one who let me sob on her shoulder and fed me ice cream..

In 1988, Billie actually came out over the phone to Erica and I.  Erica's reaction?  "Did you know this when we roomed together?"  ("No!) Mine was, "Never make a pass at me and we'll be fine."  ("It's okay; I know you're straight.")

I graduated from Ball State in late July 1989 and threw myself a party. I drove to Pendleton and grabbed Erica, then we went to Indianapolis, grabbed Kris, and went first to the Olive Garden for dinner (meeting a cute waiter who invited us to The Vogue for Quarter Beer Night), then to the mall, and then to the bar.  Ended up getting caught in the rain at 2am and crashing at Kristy's house, surprising her parents the next morning when we all trooped downstairs!

Kristy was the first to get married in July 1989. Ginny was her Matron of Honor (she eloped with her b/f the day before; I joked this bumped me from Bridesmaid to Maid of Honor!) and I was a bridesmaid (the ONLY one who didn't have to have her dress altered!).  I'd begun dating the groomsman whom I'd picked up at her wedding when the guy I was dating failed to show up, and was engaged by the time Erica's wedding the same year in September.

By 1990, I was being emotionally abused by this a$$hat, and ditched him, then ended up getting pregnant by MY now-current hubby.  Three years later, Erica's firstborn and my secondborn were supposed to be born about a week apart....well, my daughter arrived three weeks early while hers cooked for two more weeks, and they ended up a month apart!

By now, Kris had divorced her husband; Billie was in a happy relationship and back in Evansville.  In 2010, Billie announced she had breast cancer.  Three years later, she told me she was tired of fighting it, then changed her mind. She would enter remission in 2014, but the cancer returned in 2017, this time in her spine and liver.

I should point out, Billie lost her mom in 2007 or 2008; I attended the funeral. Erica lost her parents, first her mom in 2012, then her dad two or three years later. I attended her mom's funeral, and even stayed over to help her the next day. Kristy's dad passed away in Nov 2018, and Erica and I both made the trip up for the funeral Mass.  My father passed nearly a year later, with Erica coming up for the funeral. Kris was still heartbroken over her dad's passing and refused to come, but arrived for a visit after Christmas.

Angel One Joins Heaven

In 2019, Billie was living with her dad in a condo in Evansville, and Erica and I went down to see her.  I'd also paid a visit earlier after being in town for a craft show, so I was familiar with her bald head and having to use a walker at times.  COVID set in, and Billie had been moved to an assisted living facility. We kept in touch by phone and text messages. 

In early 2023, a group text was set up between the four of us, and by Easter, greetings went out and was exchanged by only three of us.  I wondered why Billie hadn't responded....then I saw a post from her SIL that she was in a coma. She passed away shortly after that.  Erica and I drove down for the funeral and spoke about our friendship.

RIP Billie Jo Gilles, May 22, 1962-April 2023

About the same time, I discovered Kristy had moved in with her mother, having suffered some sort of mental breakdown.  I visited them when I was in town for Indpls Christmas Show, and was shocked by Kristy's aging appearance. Her hair was white; she'd lost weight, and her autism was particularly noticeable.

****SIDE NOTE****

In 2007 or 2008, Kris had called me, saying she'd been diagnosed with Asperger's, and "I suppose you think of me differently."

"Not at all; this explains A LOT!"

************

Her mom explained that a bad break up had triggered something inside her, making her no longer able to cope with life. She would wash her hands and not know how to turn off the water. She'd lock the door to the bathroom and not know how to unlock it. Simply put, she could no longer be left alone.

I spent the night with her in 2024, in order to utilize her shower, and this past year, her mom reached out, saying they'd like to attend the Gift and Hobby Show. I sent them two free tickets, and was thrilled to see them both on Friday Nov 14th.  Kris had gotten overheated and dizzy, so she spent 30 minutes sitting behind my table and drinking water, before feeling able to walk around again.  Her mom took pictures of us, which I'm eternally grateful, since that's the last time I'll ever see her, hug her, or kiss her cheek again.

Mon Dec 1st

I was about an hour from clocking out at my Evening Job when my phone rang, and it was Kris's mom, saying she had sad news. When she found out I was at work, she told me to call when I got home.  I speculated on everything from Kris passing, having an accident, her brother dying, the dog dying, or her mom having a terminal illness.  An hour later I was shocked to learn that my friend of 41 years had indeed passed.

She'd moved into an apartment with another disabled lady and caregivers, and was having difficulty adjusting to the change. The caregiver reported Kris had taken her dog Mocha for a walk, then heard a thud outside the door.  She opened it and found Kris on her back, unconscious and not breathing.  She called 911, but they were unable to revive her.  It will be maybe 2 weeks before the coroner's report.  Her mom plans to hold a funeral Mass and bury her daughter in their family plot in Louisville, KY at a later date.

Her mom didn't know how to get a hold of Ginny, so I said I'd take care of it. I also notified Joe, the guy we passed around (and I stay in contact with....or I should say, HE stays in contact with ME!), Erica, and Kris's friend Noel, with whom she spent a lot of her free time with.

Now there are only two left....I turn 60 later this month, while Erica hits that milestone in May. Kris's birthday is July 3rd, same as my daughter's.

I've cried; I've held it together to notify everyone (as of this writing, Noel will be calling me when she gets off work later today).  I'll make it Facebook Official after Noel's been told.

It's just hard to believe the woman I saw just two weeks ago is gone.  That's a lot to process, and I look forward to hearing her official cause of death.

In the meantime, please keep her mother Judy and her younger brother Kasey in your prayers?

RIP Kristy Jill Corbett Wisely July 3, 1966-Dec 1, 2025

My Grief Journey, 2020 (Pt.2)

April 2020:

I'm back at home; with Covid-19 paranoia running rampant, Mom is sequestered inside the assisted living facility; we moved her in March 1st and twelve days later, she wasn't allowed out (which proved to be a blessing; we were able to move things out of the house much faster!), and then by the 22nd, the entire state went on lock down, and 'shelter in place' went into effect.  I returned to work March 31st.

July 17, 2020:

House is officially sold!  Very bittersweet day, but the new owner has a grandchild who is THRILLED with the swing set and climbing tower in the back yard!  All I have to do is pay off the final electric bill.  I hope they cherish the house the way we do.

July 31, 2020:

Cumberland Pointe is allowing visitation!  Since Mom's birthday is Aug 1st, I scheduled an hour appointment for today, and another one for tomorrow.  Mom looks good; just a bit 'shaggy', since I've not been able to 'spring' her to go get her hair done.

Aug 1, 2020:

Had an enjoyable visit; took her a dozen yellow roses and a balloon, plus a cinnamon roll from Christo's.  Wendy called in, so Mom got to talk to us both, and we sang her happy birthday.  Wendy had also sent a dozen yellow roses, so Mom felt very pampered and not alone.  I also spent an hour outside her window, talking to her on the phone.  Tried to make an appointment for tomorrow, but all booked up.  Will try to make this a monthly event.

Sept 19, 2020:

Arrived late, due to son K's blackbelt test, and collected friend Angela, who was here from ND, visitng her new grandchild, and went to dinner at Texas Road House, to celebrate Adopted Daughter Reagan's 29th birthday.  Then we headed to the Eagles for karaoke.  Returned Angie to Rossville at 1am.

Sept 20, 2020:

Watched L&O: SVU until it was time to order Mom's ribeye sandwich from Walt's.  Spent 45 minutes outside her window, chatting on the phone before it was time for our face-to-face.  Had an even better time once inside, and at the end, I realized the nurse had her back turned, so gave Mom a side hug really fast, and kissed her head, forgetting I had the damn mask on!  Then went back to Walt's and ordered my pizza, then took it back to the room and watched more SVU and Big Brother All Stars:)  

Sept 21, 2020:

Stopped by Mom's room briefly before heading out of town.  Will return Oct 19th and Nov 20th.

Oct 18-20:

Did some grocery shopping for Mom (pads, kleenex, Immodium, candy) and went to storage to find her clothes (found the Christmas ones!) and her nebulizer on Sunday, then had a face-to-face on Mon, plus checked out the roses both Wendy and I had sent.  Took her a Subway sandwich; she's craving fast food!  Tues, showed off my haircut before I left for home.

Nov 10:

Mom wanted me to come up today and take her to the drs...but when I arrived, her appt had been cancelled.  I rented a larger storage unit, plus went to Walmart for her (she needed an alarm clock and more pads).  Had a Face-to-Face, in which I realized that as of 11pm tonight, it has been a year since I last heard 

Dad's voice.  Then I left and went to the Medical Supply place to see about a chair, and found one for $2663.  I'll return the weekend of the 20th, and hopefully move everything from the 5x15 into the 10x10 unit.

Nov 20:

Shared an enjoyable hour with Mom, then checked into motel.  Unfortunately, the medical supply place isn't open on Sat, so will have to return Monday.

Nov 21-22:

While waiting for the family to arrive, I began dragging things out of the storage unit and separating into piles.  3 hours and 4 truckloads later, it was transferred into the larger unit, and I took a few things to Goodwill.  Sara and Co. decided to spend the night, so after a trip for them to see her, we checked her into the motel, and Alex and I went to the pool.  A little boy told her she was beautiful and that he loved her!  Convinced A to get out of pool and go eat, and went to Olive Garden.  P and S got food poisoning later; we all pooled, then went upstairs.

I left at 7 am on Sunday and drove to work.

Nov 23:  Left at 10; met Rita for lunch at Arni's (350 S), then took Mom's pizza and salad to her.  Picked up the blank check and the vaporizer she didn't want, and went to Drayer Medical Supply to order her chair.  Then went to Walmart to return her items, and was on the road by 5:30.  Arrived home around 8:30. 

Dec 20th:

Left at 10:30; dropped off Christmas tree and cookies and RS candy; picked up mom's CC and 4 boxes.  Took 3 of the boxes to storage; went to Menards for Will's present (weighted blanket), then to Walmart for Mom's pads and some other odds and ends.  Delivered the CC and the pads to mom, then went to her window and spoke for 30 mins.  Checked into motel at 5, then met Rita, Brian and Cookie for dinner at Red Lobster.  Went back to motel and showered, then watched TSO show and SVU.  Left on 21st at 9:30 am.

2021:

March 21st:

Had broken my arm in Feb, and had to return for follow up, and thought only 'essential caretakers' were allowed in Mom's ROOM for up to two hours, but Mom called, wanting to know if I could come up a day early, to help her finish getting the room ready for the couch/chair swap.  I did....and discovered that 2 people can be in there as long as we want!  Reagan met me at the room, and when I finally hugged Mom....I burst into tears.  It felt so good to have a full body hug, not just a quick side hug on the sly.

We took two carts' worth to storage and brought back her Easter wreath.  On Monday, her chair was delivered; D and W arrived and W was so happy to hug and kiss his Grandma!  We all went out to lunch (yes, she can also LEAVE!), so took her to Walt's Other Pub on the south side, so she could surprise Diane, her favorite server!  My BFF Rita and her daughter Kaitlynn were also there, and Mom picked up everyone's check:  "This is the 1st time I've been out in a YEAR.....let me do this!"

After lunch, I realized it was going longer than I'd expected, so D and W took Mom back while R and K took me to the dr's appt.  I'm healing nicely, and "Your body is good at throwing stitches!"  D picked me up and W said goodbye to G'ma, then they went home.  In the meantime, I'd gotten ahold of Steph, Mom's hairdresser, and made an appt for her on Tues.  I called in for Tues, and did some errands for Mom (Walmart, final payment on chair, and attempting to get another key made for storage-didn't work.  Had to swap out the locks and give her the extra key).  I swapped out the end table by the desk and the filing cabinet, then went through the items on the shelves by the window, which was mainly empty boxes.  But we DID find Great-Grandma's items and went through some of them before it was time to leave.  We got beautified, then had an early dinner at Panera.  Returned Mom to the facility, and I left the next morning.  I return again next month:)

April 13th:

Sara and I drove up to take Mom to her drs appt.  Brought her a pizza from Arni's, then she dressed and we left.  I went in with Mom while S waited in the car.  Afterward, we went to O'Charley's for dinner, then we took Mom home.  I gathered up her Easter stuff and we took it to storage, then drove home.  My mother has swallowed the 'Dr. F' kool-aid, asking me repeatedly to get vaccinated.  Ummm, no.  There have been too many side-effects after the second shot, and now they're saying we may have to have a third?  Plus, the J&J one has been pulled, due to people getting blood clots.  I'll wait til more research is done, or I'm forced:  Vaccinated, or fired.  I'll get it IF my job is in jeopardy.

  

April 26-27:

Spent the lunch hour with Mom, hanging up her clothing and swapping out the hangers, then FOUND her summer clothes in a tote bag in the closet!  Swapped out some of her heavy winter items for the lighter ones.  Charged up her laptop, and spoke to Mr. Dick, and watched Mom write cards.  I left for my dr's appt at 2:30, then checked into motel and had dinner with Rita at Hu Hot.  The next day, Mom went to PT while I cleaned out over a years' worth of emails, and showed her how to log on.  She and I then went to lunch at Christo's and mailed her cards.  Took her up Happy Hollow Road, so she could see her favorite redbuds, then we stopped by the Silver Dipper for ice cream.  Took a crate and a box of Christmas cards to the car; I'll put them in storage next time I'm up.  Then met Brian C for dinner at Nobel Romans before returning to the motel room.  Left early on the 28th.

May :

Took Mom to the dentist, then ate a late lunch/early dinner at Olive Garden.  Returned her to CP, then I checked into my room.  The next day, I took her to get our hair done, then lunch at Subway.  Took her back to CP while I went shopping for her, then we finished the day at Red Lobster.  Left for home the next morning.

June 27-29:  

Took Alex with me; she curled up in G'ma's lap for a solid 5 minutes!  Picked up Pizza Hut for dinner, then left and checked into hotel.  Monday, dropped off van at Prime, then they shuttled me over to Avis to pick up rental, an Acadia! After figuring out how to fold down the back seats and even put the thing in gear, grabbed b'fast at BK (pancakes for A; my usual), then took G'ma to dentist, then to Cracker Barrel, where we met Rita and her dad, and Kris and Megan.  Mom was thrilled to see Kris!  I drove Mom and A back to CP, then went to my appointment.  Got discharged; he was happy with my x-ray and progress!  Called Rita to meet me at Avis, and reluctantly turned in my rental.  R drove me back to Prime, where I picked up my van.  Drove back to CP, where I picked up KFC for Mom, then met Reagan at BW3.  She took A swimming while I shopped for Mom.  Tues, checked out of hotel and went through BK for me, then Starbucks (A:  Mocha Frappe with x-tra caramel; Vanilla latte for me, and 2 Birthday cake pops).  Picked up Mom and went to have her hair done, and A got a few inches cut from hers.  Picked up McDs, then took her through the post office drop box, then back to CP.  Left Lafayette at 1:45 and called my boss to let them know I'd be there around 5-ish.  Made it back by 5:30, due to two heavy rain pockets.

July 27th:

Drove up and brought Mom a yellow rose, a cinnamon bun from Christo's, and a vanilla shake.  She loved the books (CG), though she pointed out a typo.  OOPS!!  I went grocery shopping for her, then picked her up and met BJC at Texas Rdhouse.  Had a wonderful dinner, and celebrated both their birthdays...B's the 29th and Mom's the 1st.  B even got on the saddle!  After returning Mom to CP, drove to Rita's house and crashed at her house.  Watched the Olympic team finals, then got up the next morning and drove home, stopping briefly at Erica's house.

Sept 3rd:

Had conference call with W, Mom, and ML.  Turns out Mom is still in good shape; W called me in a panic two weeks ago, convinced Mom needs to move in with me in 2 years.  Turns out, the only thing that really needs to happen is we need to invest the $54-64K in one of two mutual funds...one earns 1.5%, while the other is a little more risky at 2.5%.  Now, I just need her to calm down about the stuff in the storage.  I went up on the 1st and got some items I didn't want disappear, like the kiddie desk, the Snow White furniture, a few books, and some knick-knacks and family history stuff.  Now I just need to figure out where to put it.  W texted earlier if I wanted the lamp by Mom's bed, the decorative one I have a love-hate relationship with....I hated to dust the thing, but it's pretty!  She plans to take Mom to storage tomorrow to start sifting through stuff; the last time I left W alone with Mom, the stuff I wanted disappeared.  The only things I couldn't pull out were the VHS tapes in the back corner near the Hummel cabinet (mine) and the two skinny bookcases (mine).   I'm going up Wed the 8th and staying through the morning of the 10th.  Hopefully she won't piss me off between now and then.  I really have no desire to drive up in the morning and be late to work M-T.

Sept 8th:

Arrived in town, and had my windshield chip fixed.  Met Mom at CP with Ann and Bob Mead.  W arrived and we went to Walt's Other Pub for late lunch/early dinner.  W left around 3:15 for her CV test, and I took Mom back to CP.  W and I went on an Arby's/Silver Dipper run and talked about plans for Thurs.  I drove to Rita's and spent a disappointing night, being overrun by her dogs.

Sept 9th:

After a rough night, I decided to take the $100 D put in my account and get a cheap motel, so checked into the Motel 6 (note to self....don't EVER stay here again!  My shower is broken; no towels; holes in floor and bedspread), then went to Mom's.  We went to storage and culled through some boxes, then went to lunch at Culvers.  I went with Mom back to CP and we cleared off her part of her desk, then changed clothes and drove to Covington to the Beef House.

Sept 10th:

W and I had a conference call with Sara, about how to reduce Mom's paper addiction, and came up with a plan. I checked out of the motel and showed the desk clerk/manager?? the photos of the deplorable conditions of room 211, and he was clearly appalled, and had no idea.  He ended up comping me a room for the next year.  We'll see if I have to use it.

We then took Mom to her eye dr's appt, and I tried to help W download an app so she can get back into Canada on Sat (her CV test came back neg, thank god!), and after trial and error, and figuring out how to change her Apple ID PW, she discovered her phone's too old for the app.  She called United Airlines and found out she can print out the form.  So instead of being rational (we could all go to lunch, drop Mom at CP, I could head south, and she could go to the library), she insisted it had to be done RIGHT NOW, and left for the library.  I tried to run Mom through Arby's, but the line was long, and her tummy was upset, so I dropped her off and headed home.  She's anticipating being home for Chelsea's wedding May 15th.

Another thing:  Mom's lost G'ma's diamond watch and wedding band.

Sept 21st:

Went up and took Mom to cardiology appt, then to get her glasses, and I went to the candy store for some caramel corn (dark side) and 3 delicious truffles:  Maple Buttercream, Mint Buttercream, and Irish Coffee. We reported the jewelry missing.  As I was driving back, Mom texted; jewelry was found!  It was on her round table by her chair.

Oct 23rd:

Took K, J, B, and A up to surprise Mom and take her to her eye dr; she's still seeing double.  Sent K in to get her, and she was very happy to see him!  Her Zinger blew a tire, so she's using a regular wheelchair, and having him along to help load/unload was a godsend.  While Mom was at the eye dr, the rest of us went to the candy store and got some truffles, caramel corn, and some marshmallow treats for A.  Then we went to Pepe's, where S (who had driven up the night before to see Reagan) joined us.  Afterward, she and A went shopping while the rest of us took Mom back to CP.  K and B stayed with her while J and I went to Walmart for her.  Left around 5, and followed S to Reagan's house until 7.  Went through Arby's, then drove home.  After we passed Sullivan, A got sick in the backseat, and had to stop at Carlisle to clean her up.  Got home around 10:30.  

I have to return Nov 5th to take Mom back to eye dr again.

Nov 5th:

Took Mom to the eye dr, who gave her another full examination.  Her new lenses should arrive in the next two weeks, so will have to return again soon.  After a quick trip into the candy shop for truffles and caramel corn, we had lunch at Arnis (both had Jr salads, so we could be out by 1).  Then went to see Stephanie to get beautified, and drove to Walmart to do some shopping for Mom:  Pads, water, magnesium, kettle chips, and Tylenol Arthritis.  Took her back to her room and put everything away, then wheeled her down to the dining room and left.  Took myself to Chipotle for dinner.  Got home around 10pm; I'd left around 7:30am, so it was long day!

Dec 8th:

Mom was supposed to have her hair done, but Steph's mom died unexpectedly, so I picked up her X-mas decorations and took them to her. Put away her clothes, and she was thrilled when I pulled out her X-mas sweaters! Went to Cracker Barrel for an early dinner, then took her back to the facility and put her Halloween decorations in my car.  Checked into the Quality Inn ($64 with discount, making it $76 for the night) and went to Walmart for her. 

Thursday, I met up with Brian Morris, his wife, and a friend of theirs for b'fast at CB, then went to O'Rears bakery for springerly cookies, and to Payless for a fruitcake.  Returned Mom's Halloween/T-Day decorations to storage, then delivered everything.  Mom was tired, so didn't decorate, but did go through a few things on her table. Left at 5 after pushing her down to the dining room.

My Grief Journey: The Day My World Changed Forever

Wed Nov 20, 2019:
(phone rings)
Me (cheerful):  Hi Mom!
Mom:  Hi honey....I'm so sorry to have to tell you this.....your dad passed away this morning.
Me (in shock):  WHAT?  Noooooooo......
I stood up and went into my bedroom as Mom recounts how she found Dad slumped in the garage, called 9-1-1, and discovered he'd been gone for at least 3-4 hours.

We both cry on the phone, with me trying to choke out the words to D.  We hang up, and my brain kicks into gear.

Step 1:  Call work.  Check.
Step 2:  Call K and S.  Check.
Step 3:  Start planning what to pack, so I can leave ASAP, to go be with my mother.

My sister calls.  "What are we going to do?"
Me:  "I'm going up tonight.  I'll have to (move in) stay up there for a while."
W:  "Can you do that?  Is that wise?"
Me:  "She can't take care of herself!  She needs someone with her!"
W:  "Fair enough."

Kids begin arriving home; plans are being formed; my sense of humor kicks in.
"You know what this means, don't you?  ROAD TRIP to Colorado this summer!"
(Dad wanted cremated, then his ashes sprinkled over the Continental Divide and RMNP)

D drives me up that evening.  Can't remember if W, S, and A went along or not.  I THINK they did.  Members of Mom's Small Group Bible Study were there, sorting things, pulling out needed paperwork, doing laundry, organizing food.

Thurs Nov 21:
Errand Day
Discovered Dad's breakfast sandwich in the microwave, and also discovered I was not able to open the garage door!  I ended up carefully pushing Mom out the front door, in order to get her into the van. Mom and I went to the funeral home and picked out the Memory package (guest book, pamphlets, keepsake bookmarks), as well as deciding to write the obituary once W arrives.  Found a picture of Dad smiling to use for photo.  Once home, sent out a frantic call to W's friend SA to come out and see what was wrong with the garage door.  Discovered the emergency lever had been activated; S reversed it and we were able to open and close it again!  Spent the rest of the day fielding phone calls and accepting flower and food deliveries.  I left around 9 to pick up W at the airport, and was successful in doing so.  We stayed up until 3am talking before going to bed.

Fri Nov 22:
Brainstormed about the obituary, and wrote the 1st draft.  Went over it several times during the day, as we remembered other things which needed to be included.  Pastor David came out to the house to talk to us.

Sat Nov 23:
Friends arrive, as well as my family, and Uncle George! Took K to the funeral home, so he could see the body bag and have his closure with his grandfather. Discovered the septic was backing up; found an angel to come out and fix the issue.  My sister stayed with him, following him around outside as he found the fingers and the box, and snaked several drains to remove the blockage.  Despite the noise (it sounded as if the entire house was going to collapse!), Mom was able to enjoy her visit with Uncle George, and arranged for a payment for the septic on Monday.

Sun Nov 24:
I'll admit to waking up weepy, compounded by finding a tube of Bryllcream on the bathroom shelf.  Watched church on my laptop, and discovered Pastor Rob was praying/talking about Dad!  We finalized the obit, and went over to the funeral home to deliver it, after one last run-through.  Went over to church to talk over the service with Pastor Rob, only to discover our signals had gotten crossed, and he'd driven out to the house!  We used the time to sketch out preliminary ideas for Dad's service, and I felt as if my input wasn't getting heard.  Rather than make a scene, I simply went along with it, then vented to Mom privately after W went to bed.....or so I thought.

She came out and caught part of it, then went off the deep end, yelling at me, calling C to change her ticket to Thurs.  The three of us hashed it out, with me feeling like a heel, but at the same time, managed to shut her up by telling her I didn't appreciate her treating me like one of her clients.  I apologized to Mom for the scene, but also informed my sister that 1) I was tired and 2) most of what I was saying was off the top of my head and I probably wasn't going to remember most of it anyway.  I was just venting my feelings of feeling shut out, emotional, and very irrational at the moment.  I also mentioned the fact that back in 1995, W had 'shushed' me several times during G'ma's service, so I felt I had to hold in my emotions when I was around her, so I wouldn't embarrass her again.  W didn't remember that, and apologized for her juvenile behavior back then; we were free to mourn however we wanted.

Mon Nov 25:
Funeral home phoned to say cremation was complete, and everything would be ready for the service on Tuesday.  K, S, and A arrived.  We took Dad's theological books to the church and set them up, as well as the 'memory board' we'd put together.

Tues Nov 26:
Beautiful service and luncheon!  My SIL arrived with D and W, Erica was there....Uncles Bill and Ed...and several friends!  Steve and Heather H, Jerry and Louise B....and even Brian C showed up, which meant more to me than he'll ever know!

A few other 'testy' moments came back at the house, when it was revealed S resented being 'voluntold' to pick up the deli trays at the store, and my SIL was 'fuming' because I let W push Mom up and down the aisle at church.  What she hadn't seen was the fact I pushed mom down to the luncheon, and fixed her food for her.  I didn't care who pushed Mom around, or sat by her....because MY family was there, while HERS wasn't!  So I was perfectly fine with W sitting beside Mom!  D talked her 'down from the ledge', and all was well again.

Later that evening, A entertained us as we laughed, sang 'Dad' songs to YouTube, and she danced around.

Wed Nov 27:
Really not sure what we did.....

Thurs Nov 28 Thanksgiving Day:
Had a very subdued day.  We cooked the turkey and just relaxed.  I packed a bag to return home and work the next four days.

Fri-Sun, Nov 29-31:
I worked Black Friday Weekend, and discovered A's concert was to be Monday the 1st.  I was scheduled to work, but managed to get Khadija to cover for me so I could go.  Talked to HR about filing the paperwork for my leave, and discovered I could be left off the schedule for 8 weeks.

Friday Dec 5:
Drove home via rental car, sending W into a panic when I didn't get away as early as planned.  I actually passed them on 231, beating them to Cumberland Pt for our appointment, which calmed her down.  We toured two rooms, then figured out which one would be in Mom's budget.  Returned my car, then went back to the house and packed an overnight bag.  Drove to Indy and checked into the Holiday Inn, since W had to be at the airport at 4am to catch her flight.

Sat Dec 6:
Woke up to a 5 page letter from W, 'micromanaging' detailing everything I needed to do in the next month or so.  I held onto my temper and eye-rolled as I read it, then me being me, decided to send her a daily 'report'.  I don't think she actually caught onto the fact I was making fun of her....but that's okay.  She deals with grief her way, I'll deal with it my own way.

Mom and I drove to Terre Haute and celebrated K's birthday at GC, in compliance with W's decree that 'Mom was finished paying for everyone!'

Sun Dec 7-Jan 23, 2020
Mom and I decorated the house; tried to follow her 'normal' schedule, but the temperatures dropped; snow fell for one day; I was getting stressed, due to not being able to get Mom out of the house, or doing it and being cold and irritable.  Thankfully, a neighbor took his snowblower and cleared our driveway and car, but I deeply resented having to drive in the cold and snow, and actually got mad at my dad for forcing me to do something I didn't want to mess with!  The family came up for Christmas, but once again, it was a subdued affair.  If it hadn't been for A and Wm, I think we might have skipped it altogether.

One of Mom's friends offered to go pick up W from the airport, and due to the weather, I accepted his offer, then tagged along.  I soon realized I should have just driven myself when 1) he was late and 2) his driving scared me!  When we arrived, he looked up her flight info and discovered her flight was delayed an hour.  Instead of letting me out, CS decided to go sit in the 'Cell phone lot'....then find the bathroom and get a drink.  The 2nd time, we checked, I was just about to get out of the car when W called, then located us.  The trip back was harrowing; W kept him engaged (so he could stay awake??) while I navigated and prayed the entire time we'd make it back safely!  Again, Mom, W and I stayed up until 3am.

Fri Jan 24, 2020:
Not entirely sure what we did all day, other than talk, but W took us out to Red Lobster for dinner (my late birthday dinner).  Think we also grocery-shopped after dropping Mom back at home.

Sat Jan 25-31st:
I returned home and met with my boss(es) about my projected return date.  Discovered I am missed by Sandy, Aggie, Cindy, MK, Marci, Sacred, Mel, Kem, and Darren:)  Cassie, not so much, lol, or the others who had been hired on right before I left.  Spent the week dealing with family issues, working on the sample chapter book, and getting it formatted. Went to karaoke on Thurs and sang Uptown Funk, F'n Perfect, and I Believe by Lauren Dailes.  My karaoke buds were happy to see me:)  Drove back the next day and was there by noon. Discovered the 'time line' had been moved up; Mom was going to move March 2nd.  W showed me her 'cabinet', where everything she needed shipped was housed.  I was very upset to learn she was taking custody of the Axyl Rose yearbook; I wanted it!  Compromised by taking pictures of 'his' page, and took custody of his 8th grade track pic.  Mom wanted to take us out to dinner, so we went to Mountain Jacks for an early Valentine's Day dinner, that W paid for.  Since we had to leave at 4am, I crawled into bed with my clothes on for a four hour nap.

Sat Feb 1, 2020:
Drove W to the airport with only one mishap....I had to swerve to avoid missing a concrete center barrier, which freaked her out, but there wasn't any traffic around us; I was tired and had overcompensated.  Dropped her off, put gas in the van, grabbed a sweet tea and two candy bars, and drove home for more sleep.

Sun Feb 2-5th:
Enjoyed the Super Bowl, even though I missed most of the 3rd quarter by taking Mom's friend Cathy C home.  Took a load to Goodwill, then spent the next several days finalizing my 'Starter Collection' cover.  Went to Indy on the 5th to meet D, and after his machine check and Cardio check, enjoyed Cracker Barrel for dinner, then left my truck there and went to Noblesville for both our appointments.  Accidentally 'hijacked' D's appt, since I was showing D my foot when Dr. S walked in!  I do NOT have diabetes, and he didn't think it was cancer, so he referred me to a wound care center AND called in a script for my thyroid meds.  After we left, the snow was falling, so met Kris at CB to give her the pics I'd printed off, and after D gassed me up, drove home SLOWLY.  Flurries in Indy; freezing rain in Whitestown; slush at Frankfort.  Then I pulled onto 625 and not only fish-tailed, but nearly hit two deer.

I was EXPECTING Mom to have been picked up for lunch, then brought back to the house for packing party.  What happened was, I had neglected to remind everyone her house key was on the table by the door.  As a result, she called me at noon to tell me she was locked out, and was being taken back to CP.  I called HER, but didn't get any answer.  When I arrived back home, I called her again, and found out that yes, everyone had been informed, and I would defrost the van and come get her.  Took me an hour.  I even texted B to see if I could bribe HIM to do it.....he was at the Purdue game.  Traitor.  Anyway, I took the long way to CP and successfully got her home.  Just pissed me off, because I'd sacrificed two hours of sleep in order to label all the cabinets in the kitchen.  Oh well....

Feb 6-7:
Cancelled all appointments and spent two days going through Dad's DVDs and packing them up. W and K arrived; found out W is severely depressed.

Feb 8-14:
Had to make an emergency trip home to get my Teen some help, then learned later one appointment wasn't kept.  He did have a positive experience at 2nd appointment, so there's hope!  Discovered Kirk Douglass died, and so did Evan Twitty, a local celeb.  Spent a quiet V-day with Mom.  Was distressed to learn our long-time pizza delivery man, Tinker, passed away.

Feb 15-21:
With all the bad news lately, decided to set up my new turntable and start playing the LPs:)  Began with Saturday Night Fever and worked my way to Cher, Shaun Cassidy, and some childhood faves:)  Top news of the week:  Indiana Beach will be closed.  Monticello, In and surrounding community is in mourning.

Feb 22-28:
Went to karaoke and did an Olivia Newton-John night.  Sang Let Me Be There, Please Mr Please, and If You Love Me Let Me Know.  Also did Will You Be There by Heart.  Went to BoilerCon and hung out with Brian Morris for three hours:)  My copies of Starter Collection arrived:)

Feb 29-March 8th:
D, K,J, and W arrived; D and I picked up my BIL at the airport.  On the 29th, S and A arrived, and we began the HUGE task of unloading the den.  Around 3:30. Erica and Faunia arrived, and the 11 of us went to dinner at Outback, to celebrate W's 16th birthday.  Was sooooo good to see E and F!  March 1st, we discovered K had left with the storage unit keys, so E's house was the drop-off/pick up point.  The 2nd, Helping Hands arrived to move Mom's furniture to CP.  Think we ate lunch at Walt's, then returned home so Mom could go through more stuff.  3rd:  I picked up Mom and took her to Social Security, to get her deposit switched.  Had Arni's for dinner.  4th:  Picked up Mom and went 1st to Grindstone Charley's for lunch, then dropped her off and went on a liquor box run.  I cooked chicken and Chris cooked the pork chops.  Went to karaoke and sang Come To My Window, Keep On Loving You, Listen To Your Heart, I Will Be, and Independence Day.  5th:  C and S picked up Mom, since realtor was coming to the house.  Discovered later that Mom's checkbook was missing....she'd written my check, then hadn't put her book in the purse.  After we took her home that evening, after a delicious meal at Olive Garden, we discovered it wasn't in her room.  I nearly had a meltdown, but C 'talked me off the ledge'. S had already left for home, since she had a drs appointment on the 6th.  6th:  Took Mom's TV and radio to her, plus made copies of the two photos.  Ordered waaaayyy too much Chinese food, but went to bed early, since had to get up at 4:30.  7th:  Drove C to airport, then returned home and worked on my closet, finding Teddy; discovered W's dog was also in there, and some of the formal dresses W and I had worn.  Had dinner with Mom, but I was so tired, had to come home and go to bed.  8th:  Managed to get Mom's dresser and 'cube' into her closet, and tried to hook up her TV.  Also put some books on her shelves.

Mar 9-15:
"The Best Laid Plans...."  I went over and emptied 8 more boxes, placing all her knick-knack 'pretties' on the kitchenette shelves, and more books on her shelves.  Cathy C came over with a pizza.  On Tues the 10th, Mom's friend Alice (they went to church camp and A named her daughter 'Sally') arrived, and had a good chat.  New guidelines were going to be imposed, due to the Corona virus, and everyone was going to be checked at the main entrance.  Well, on Wed, I discovered NO VISITORS were allowed, not even family, so had to wait for Mom to be brought out.  Took her to lunch and bought some of her Tena pads, then went on to Fackleman's for Bible Study.  Afterward, Mom needed to potty again, and her Zinger was running low on battery, so took her back to C-pt.  1st she couldn't find the charger, then the battery died before she arrived at the front.  Discovered doors were going to be locked at 6pm; it was already nearly 5.  I was already over the day, so told Mom to stay there, and we'd do more on the 12th.  I did find a Mother-of-the-groom dress at Davis Bridal, so after faxing my 'documentation' to Lowe's HR, I tried on the dress again and had my picture taken in it (I'd forgotten to take my phone in with me on the 10th).  Mom said she'd pay half the $220, and D agreed to pay the other half.

Mar 16-24:
Coronavirus hits US....President declares Pandemic, and Indiana closes all schools, bars, and restaurants.  We can only get food through the drive-through or carry out, and people have lost their minds.  Toilet paper, Kleenex, cleaning supplies, meat, and chicken, as well as medicine, have been ransacked and being hoarded.  Stores are limiting quantities and store hours.

Family arrived on 21st; we boxed items and donated a load; sent a load to storage; took a few items to G'ma, and then filled D's truck, S's Jeep, and the van to be brought home.  Signed Dad's truck over to Patrick and he hauled a load off to be sold.

I spent Sunday on the couch, watching an SVU marathon and decompressing.  Went over to Lowes and discovered my job is still available (thank you Steve!).

Monday the 23rd, S and I returned and finished emptying the den, Mom's room, and my old room.  Governor announced Indiana was going on a 2 week state-wide lock down, so made the decision to spend the night.  I put out the call; Kristin and Steve graciously allowed us to sleep in Alec's room.  Got up on the 24th and emptied the storage room, the bathrooms, and took another load to G'ma; Wendy's things to storage; and another load to donation.

Loaded up the van with all the 'loose' stuff, and have three piles in the garage:  a) Everything which comes home; b) G'ma's things; and c) Donation.  Left a pile in the living room to be sent to the transfer station, as well as 4 empty storage containers in W's old room; Dad's bed in the master bedroom; and his desk and gun cabinet in the den.  Also left an extensive note explaining what needed to be hauled off and what needed to stay.  Dave the realtor put a lockbox on the front door; I called him and gave the instructions for the alarm code.  Also made arrangements for Mom's mail and newspapers to be picked up by a neighbor for the next two weeks.

April 2nd:
Realtor called; he and Jerry had loaded up the wood stand in the back yard, then went into the house to check what was left, and had forgotten the code to the alarm system.  I told him how to shut if off, so he did.  'Morty' is still behind the shed.  Quarantine is now until the end of the month, so I won't be able to go up until May 1st.

UPDATE:  Real estate is considered 'essential', so it IS okay for us to travel up to finish cleaning out the garage and 'rescue' Morty.  Mom is insistent about this, plus wants more of her plastic boxes and the pouch with the Canadian currency and D and R's silver dollars.

Good news is, Mom's Retirement funds are now being deposited in the correct account!  I should be able to contact the bank to close the other account, after I transfer the funds.

April 6th:
After repeated calls from my sis, Mom, and the realtor, I decided to make an emergency trip north.  S went with me, and we took the donation stuff to GW, then a load to G'ma, including a trip through Payless for pads, snack items, and Easter candy.  Returned back to house and loaded up the van with what we could....mainly the boxed and 'loose' items.  Got slightly emotional as we watched Dave and Jerry break apart Dad's desk, the entertainment center, and the final shelf.  All that's left is the cabinets in W's old room and I think the safe cabinet.  D is going to see if GW will take the Craftmatic bed.  S dragged Morty Moose into the garage.  Arrived home around 9:30.

April 9th:
Chris texted me; I got fed up with D and forced the issue by calling K and asking if he'd be willing to help me and S finish up.

April 10th:
Woke up to a meme on FB that absolutely brought on a grief session.  Went to work anyway and discovered I hadn't been paid for last week, which brought on more tears.  Swallowed my emotion and clocked in (finally!), then just had one bad experience after another.  I really should have stayed home today.....

April 11th:
Went north with a U-Haul trailer and packed up everything in the garage that we could.  Delivered a load to Mom, then went to CVS for her.  Arrived home at 9 pm.

April 12th (Easter Sunday):
Unpacked the van, U-Haul, and truck; called Mom when we sat down to dinner.  Got a text later that she'd broken a tooth.

April 19th:
Was told the painters were finished, and it looked good!  Stanley Steamer will clean carpets on the 20th, and the house cleaners will clean the bathrooms, the kitchen, and all windows on Wed.  Looking as if we should have the house on the market by next week:)

April 20th:  
Mom asked me to call, and when I did, she said she'd come to the conclusion that some of her stuff needed to go to storage.  Problem is, I have the key.  Talked to S and decided to go up on the 22nd to get the desk so we can put some of Mom's stuff in storage.  Not sure if we're getting the bookshelf or not; depends on who goes with us, the weather, and what vehicle we take.

April 21st:
Something alarming happened.  Realtor called, wanting to know where the bag with the house info/files were.  Told him on the counter by the fridge; he claims it's not there.  WTH???  Hoping Jerry didn't take it and trash it.....will find out tomorrow, when S and I go up.

April 22nd:
Arrived; went to the house and everything is painted WHITE!  Even the bright red bathroom, my blue bedroom, and W's pink one.  White.  And....no tote.  Reaaaally hoping J didn't trash it.  The safe cabinet and bed are still in garage.

Went to Mom's and picked up her boxes and handed her the tax forms to sign.  She wrote the check to the accountants, and handed me two checks to deposit.  We went first to storage and put the roll top desk in the van, and rearranged the storage unit a bit more.  Then mailed the TDS equipment back, and deposited the checks, as well as dropped off the tax forms and check back to accountant.  Went back to Mom and S showed her how to use her computer, then we left.  Stopped at Panda Express for S, then to Popeye's for D.  I ate chicken tenders.  Stopped at the truck stop to top off the tank and get some candy, and came home.

April 24th:
Mom's house is on the market!  Mom texted she'd signed the papers listing it for $134,900.  Said that the neighbor who mowed the lawn and his g/f had spent an hour with Dave on Thurs in the house and talking.  I'm slightly uneasy about that; they both struck W and I as sketchy and rather unreliable.  We'd like whomever buys the house to take care of it, and love it as much as we do.  Really
praying the right buyer comes along.

April 26th:
Offer was made; counter offer accepted!  The new buyers are going through USDA, so house has to be inspected to see if it meets USDA requirements.

May 1st:
Inspection Report:  Mold in attic; needs another vent.  Soffit on porch needs replaced, as well as support post.

May 22nd:
Buyer lost job, but gained new one.  Closing pushed back to July 3rd, so can show lenders proof of employment income.

June:
I don't remember the exact date, but received a phone call from realtor:  According to USDA regulation code, our well is too close to the septic system, DESPITE the county being okay with it AND the water testing okay.  Cost:  $5500 to drill new well and cap the old one.

I was furious, and said 'no, there HAS to be a grandfather clause SOMEWHERE.'  Mom agreed, and the next day, she told the realtor no, she was not putting any more $$ into the house.  Find a new buyer.

The day it went back on the market, Dave had 6 potential buyers, and one even offered $145K for it 'as is'.  SOLD!  Closing is set for July 23rd.

July 13:
Dave texted me and asked if I could be there Friday the 17th at noon.  I said yes, then spent the next two days finding someone to cover my shift!  Gracie said she would, and Tasha approved it.

July 17th:
Sara and I left at 7am; had breakfast at BK in Sullivan, gassed up at Loves, and was in West Lafayette by 10:30.  Mailed the train to Mr. D, then went to see Mom.  She wasn't able to go with us to the closing, due to intestinal issues, but she handed over the credit card and the pertinent info we might need.  Drove to Arby's for a bathroom break and to get another drink, then to Columbia Title and had to wait on the buyer, who showed up around 12:30.  He seems like a nice guy; single dad with a 23 y/o daughter and 3 month old grandson.  He works nights at WWS, a feeder company for SIA. and loves the area, the swingset and climbing tower, and the layout of the house.  I only slightly teared up when I congratulated him and told him I hoped he loved it as much as we do.  Signed the papers and was told to return in an hour or so for the check. It saddens me to know that a smoker has bought our house.  Maybe he'll smoke outside???

Some of my author friends were in town, so we drove over to 9 Irish Brothers on SR 38 and met them for lunch.  I wasn't hungry, so only had Irish Cream Cheesecake, but Sara ate a BLT.  After parting ways, S and I returned to CT and collected the check, then I called Merrill Lynch to see if they were in the office.  They weren't, but we set up a meeting for when I return in 2 weeks.  I then drove downtown to Chase, to close out Mom's secondary account.  Then, I tried to go get my blood drawn, but discovered you have to make an appointment now; they're not accepting walk ins.  Went to Walgreens to use the bathroom and to buy S some Advil, then went to the West Side Walt's for dinner.  I had a flatbread pizza; S had a chocolate brownie dessert.  Ordered Mom's Ribeye sandwich and took it to her.  Drove to Crawfordsville for another pit stop and large tea before heading home.

Mom told us Dave had called; apparently someone broke into the house and cut a hole in the ceiling; another one in a wall; put a padlock on the shed out back; and did something to the garage.  Dave's going to investigate and find out what happened.

Discovered gas in Covington was $2.15, so stopped to top off the tank.  Arrived home around 9:30.

July 18th:
W called; apparently the new homeowner tried to drop off a load at his new home and discovered the damage.  I texted John Ricks, who's on the Sheriff's Dept, who told me it was no longer our concern.  Later that night, Mom called again and said she went ahead and filed a police report, and an insurance claim.

July 19th:
W called; apparently the 'break in' was actually the BANK, because Mom was behind on the line of credit aka 2nd mortgage, so the bank 'secured the property'.  Geez.....

July 20th:
I called both State Farm and Merrill Lynch; the damage is going to cost around $750 to fix, so with Mom's $1K deductible, we don't need to pursue the claim.  ML is going to send me a mailing label to overnight the check.

July 21st:
Managed to download the form to sign, but the mailing label won't cooperate.

July 22nd:
Mailing label cooperates; I'll send everything on Thurs.

July 23rd:
Faxed the form to ML and the cancellation form to Fidelity Life Insurance (I have to die in an accident, so we decided not to keep paying on this policy!), then overnighted the check to ML.

July 24th:
ML called; check arrived safely.  Mom called; her room phone has no dial tone, and isn't ringing.  The one by the bed has a dial tone, but not ringing.  Strange.....

July 28th:
CP called; Mom has degenerative discs in her neck; is in pain.  Had X-ray and is on Flexerill....which is apparently causing hallucinations.  First she insisted that I was there, and the entire family had a party in her room.  Then later, when asked about her neck X-ray, she said she'd seen Sheila Klinker and didn't understand why S didn't stop to talk to her.  They did get her phone working again, which is good.  I need to let her know I'll be up there on the 31st.

Life In Lumber Y3, W33

So.....I was SUPPOSED to work this week, but LIFE happened.  Here is the saga: 

Monday Nov 15th:

I took a warm shower and laid across the bed on my tummy (as normal!) to do my QT.  When I went to get up, I knew something was immediately wrong; I just couldn't figure it out.

-My tummy hurt

-I felt as if I had indigestion (red flag).

I sat for a moment, and the pain didn't go away.  I went out in the living room and told my hubby, "I have a question for you, and that's all this is; I'm asking for information, not alerting you to an issue.  When you had your potential heart attack in '05, where was the pain?"

He pointed to his chest.  'Why, what's going on?"

I told him my pain was under my ribs, and wasn't sure if I'd twisted something when I rolled over, or if Denny's just hadn't digested (We'd eaten there about 2 hours earlier).

Things felt alright as long as I was standing or sitting down.  I'd spent some time at the computer and thought it had settled down, but at 2pm, when I decided to lay down for a quick nap before leaving for work at 4:30, I immediately knew something still wasn't right.

The pressure on my tummy was too great when I laid on my left side.  It intensified when I (painfully) rolled over.

I sat up, and decided that 1) if the situation were reversed, and D was having this much pain, I'd be insisting he go get medical attention and 2) I decided to take my own advice.  I called Steve, told him I was having belly pains, and was going to get it checked out.  If nothing was wrong, I'd be in.  He told me to go ahead, keep him informed, and that things would be okay.

When D arrived home at 3, I told him I needed to go get my tummy checked, and he took me to the ER.  They weren't busy, thank god, and triaged me and took me to a room.

Was absolutely FLOORED when the diagnosis of Pancreatitis came in, and they started asking about my gall bladder.  MY 1st response was to let them know how LITTLE I drink.

"We think you popped a gall stone and it inflamed your pancreas."

Oh.  I've never had any issues with my gall bladder before....no nausea....oh wait....Friday and Sat, my gag reflex triggered and I threw up part of my b'fast on Friday.  Sat was only dry-heaving.  Thursday morning's breakfast tasted awful.  Could it be it started in Indy?

They came in and took me for a belly CT, then ultrasounded my belly, trying to find my gall bladder or signs of stones.  Turns out my liver is hiding up high behind my right ribs, and my gall bladder is camera-shy.  While they were waiting to transport me to my room, the dr's returned with a more experienced X-ray tech, who finally located my gall bladder, but wasn't seeing any evidence of stones.

Around 9pm. I was finally moved to room 3304 in the new shiny building by the Health Pavilian, and was told I could have nothing to eat or drink.  I requested the mouth swabs, and endured being hooked up to an IV, several painful blood pressures (My BP was through the roof, going as high as 200/88 at one point....they told me it was due to the pain), and being thirsty.  I did my solitaire and turned out my light at 1am.

My blood pressure was still high, so my night nurse, Augustine, gave me a BP med, and a blood thinner in the tummy which hurt like hell! 

Tuesday 11/16:

Woke up, wobbled once while getting up, so they left me on the bed and chair alarm.  I began to run a temp, was getting blood drawn and BP taken.  Thankfully, BP began to return to normal, at least 145/79.  I figured out if I could go to the bathroom AFTER they took my vitals, my BP was better.  "Drippy' and I got along well this time.  My day nurses were nice, and I pretty much spent the entire day sleeping, getting texts, and returning texts.  I soon got tired of the phone.

Dr told me I needed my gall bladder out, but my labs were throwing up high numbers, and if they didn't come down, he was sending me for an MRI.  

In the meantime, I had an angry hubby at home, b/c the house was being fumigated on Wed and I hadn't done much to help.  I'm sorry; I didn't plan this!

"If you'd kept your ass at home instead of going to Indpls, you'd have had 5 days to help me get ready!"

I did the math, and realized I'd overspent my credit card, so I'd have to fess up about it.

Augustine very nicely gave me my blood thinner shot in the right shoulder, and it hurt less.

I was also taken of NPO and put on the clear liquid diet of chicken broth, Jello, water, and popcicles.  I managed to down several red Jellos, and part of the chicken broth,  It needed basil, ha ha!

Wednesday 11/17:

Woke up to the news I was getting a double stick from the lab, fun, fun.  1st stick was fine, in the left elbow.  2nd stick turned out to be between my 1st and 2nd knuckles on left hand.  It hurt like the dickens.  More bad news:  I was definitely going down for MRI.  Which turned out to be fine; they put headphones on me and turned on some wonderful 80s rock!

-Down Under

-Talk Dirty To Me

-Stray Cat Strut

-Don't Stand So Close To Me

-A Cars one I'd never heard of.

Had to hold my breath at times, and then it was over.  I was thrilled to see Autumn, whom I'd also worked with at the job, would be my transport back to my room!

Drs came in later and said my gall bladder showed stones, and it should come out.  I agreed, and signed the consent forms.

Brittany, my night nurse, and I did not get along at first.  I was in my chair, watching Survivor, and I THOUGHT she asked if I wanted the lights on.  I said yes, and she turned them off!  I immediately rang back and had someone come turn them back on. 

She also was the first one to actually unhook me from my IV to go to the bathroom.

Dallas came down at noon and let me take a shower.  I did NOT like their soap, but it felt good to be somewhat clean.  She also brought me a comb, and it took me several minutes to smooth the snarls out of the back of my hair.  It also felt good to clean my teeth,

Ate more of my chicken broth, since my temp went up to 101.4, and actually ate my popcicle.  Since my surgery would be around noon, I would be back to NPO after midnight.  Took my final delicious drink of water at 11:55 and went back to the mouth swabs.

Brittany wasn't happy about giving me my Lovenox shot in the shoulder, but I never felt it!  She was that good!

Had to have another double stick, and the guy looked nervous, but he finally got one in the hand (painful, so I held Brittany's hand!), and got me on the 1st try in the elbow.  I then went to sleep.

Oh, D was mad about having to use two credit cards to pay for the fumigation, but it happened, and we're all happier.

Thursday 11/18:

Was told my surgery would be at 1, and they would come get me at noon. D came to spend the morning with me, but had to leave at 2 to go get A from school and take W to work.  My nurse had changed my IV tubing and apparently put in the wrong one, so they decided to re-insert my IV in the hand.  I told them to wait until I was under, and they agreed:)  They gave me a nice silver blanket with a blower blowing hot air that felt wonderful!  To transfer me to the table, the rubber mat underneath me inflated, ala raft, and it was delicious to not feel that hard impact.  I remember something being injected into my IV, but I don't remember taking a deep breath in a mask.  Next thing I knew, I'm waking up in recovery and being none too happy to be told they're moving me up to Floor 4.  They took me to room 4325, and Dallas brought my stuff up.  D found me later, and returned my phone to me.

My night nurse didn't put me on the bed alarm, and I was unplugged from the IV  As soon as I felt I was stable, I could take myself to the bathroom!!  Best of all, I wasn't in any pain!

Took two walks around the floor and decided to pray for my fellow patients, and all the hospital workers.  Watched Young Sheldon and was thrilled to learn I could also watch Animal Planet!

Friday 11/19:

Dr came into see me as I was paying bills (it was payday!) and told me if I was on the computer, then I could go home:)  I lapped the floor 4 times, got dressed, and we waited.  And waited.  I ate breakfast and lunch (REAL FOOD!), and just after D left to go get A, the nurse arrived with my discharge instructions:  Lo fat diet for either a week or a month, and absolutely NO alcohol for a month.  W and Reagan walked in, and they took me home.  

Later, I went with D to take W to work, then stopped at Walmart for food that I couldn't find, so bought A a snack and we drove to JC.  Went with Plan B for dinner (chicken and angel hair pasta ala Noodle Roni), then zipped over to the job to check my schedule.

Manager was on lunch, but talked to Nathan, my Front End supervisor, and poor N got unfiltered ME when I looked at my schedule and saw the mess!  I whipped out my phone.  

"WTH is this?  This is what I told Darla my availability is!"

"That isn't what was communicated.....I'll fix it.  I'll fix it."

"See that you do!  I do NOT work 6am to 3!!  I am a CLOSER, not an OPENER!  9-6 is okay, but I prefer to CLOSE!"

Then Lee, who had opened up HER schedule, complained about her Wednesdays, which she had to have off, due to a standing appointment.

"This is the first time I've made a schedule.  I'll fix it."

I chimed in.  "Oh, well, if it's the 1st time, then we'll forgive you."

He told me to come in at 3 instead of 5, and said he preferred it that way; I told him I preferred that schedule too!  "I have to do everything I normally do between 3-5 from 5-6, so that's why I like that 3-close!"

I took my printed schedule and hobbled out of the store; I was beginning to feel tired.  Fixed dinner for the family and went to bed around 10, I think.

Saturday 11/20:

Woke up at 6 and sat at the table with D, drinking coffee and talking.  It's the 2nd anniversary of my dad's passing, so was scrolling though memories on FB and posting them.  Took a glorious shower, did my QT at the dining room table, and dressed in my red/black check leggings, CBS black tee, and my new buffalo check sweatshirt.  S, R, and A went to the Pet Port and got a 2 month old kitten named Smoky.  I napped for an hour, then put on my boots, coat, hat, and fingerless gloves to go to the park for Alyonna's 3rd birthday party.  We took my van, and set up my chair on the fireplace hearth, where I sat, took pics, and ate a little bit of mashed potatoes, mac-n-cheese, one (dry) chicken strip, two dinner rolls (My fave kind....blanking on name.....cover is orange), and one tiny corner slice of chocolate cake with that disgusting whipped cream icing.  Left at 5, then went with D to pick up W, so I could meet Wally, and by the time we got home, I was whipped.  

I wanted pizza, but it wasn't on my diet, so convinced D to go to Subway and get me a chicken teriyaki with sweet onion sauce, and a cup of broccoli soup.  Bowed out of going to K's for Cards Against Humanity.

Tomorrow, I may just stay in my PJs.....I'm not to return to work until Tuesday, and I've got a follow up appt on Wed.  My Dec 3rd paycheck is going to SUCK, but D said he could help me out.

Sunday 11/21:

Stayed in my PJs all day and watched Ghostbusters (2016), original, and GB2. Slept off and on, and Sara ordered Lil Caesar's pizza for dinner.  Ate 3 small slices of sausage, and went to bed at 11.

Teen Dream Pt 2

 

I know that's a horrible picture, but it was taken in haste, as I didn't want to lose the opportunity for a picture with him.

Who is it, you ask?

Shaun Cassidy. My former 12 y/o self was very happy last night!

Let's back up a bit.  You'll recall I attended his concert back on Sept 5th, and since the meet-n-greet had been cancelled, we were promised a one-on-one Zoom meeting later that month. Unfortunately, after an hour's wait, a message popped up, saying a rainstorm had knocked out his internet, and my meeting would be postponed.

Was I upset?  A little, but you can't blame Mother Nature.  I waited....and waited....and waited.

Finally earlier this week, I received an email saying my meeting would take place on Wed, and my time would be finalized soon.  I thanked her, and mentioned later in the evening would work better, since I'm usually home between 9:30-9:45.  I told my supervisor I would need off ASAP on Wed.

Yesterday morning, the final email arrived with the link, and my time would be around 10pm.  I was thrilled; went into work and told my supervisor not to worry about getting me out early; 9:30 was fine.  And I left on time.

Went home, rebrushed my hair, set up my card table in the bedroom (only place for absolute privacy, lol!), and set up my laptop. Pinned both SC buttons to my shirt. Grabbed my water bottle, kleenex, phone, and my cheat sheet of questions I wanted to ask, and at 9:57, logged in.

Tested my mic and lighting, and joined the meeting.  And waited....and waited.

Texted a friend; surfed FB; rewatched Shaun's That's Rock-n-Roll video.  Drank water, sucked on a cough drop.  The weather has changed in Indiana; I'm going through the whole sinus mess, and I was praying I wasn't going to cough and hack my way through our entire encounter!

Suddenly, my screen changed, and a new screen popped up, obscuring his face.  I could hear him calling my name as I frantically tried to get the other screen off, all the while thinking, OMG...HE KNOWS MY NAME!!!!

But I composed myself and joyfully greeted him!  We talked about how a Zoom meeting was better than the normal M-n-G, since there's no time to really chat.  I told him about my Comic Con experience with Chandler Riggs and Lana Parillo, and revealed my author status.  He asked where I was from, and yes, I told him about my missed opportunity in 1978, and that I really enjoyed his City Winery show.  He asked if I'd ever been to Nashville before, and I told him about the Weekend With The Authors, and how this year, I'd finally be a signing author..

THEN, I switched the focus back to him by asking if I could pick his brain, and he said yes.  I asked about what it's like to write episodes on New Amsterdam, and how to keep the characters' continuity.  He said they collaborate, and everyone works on the actual episode, and the fact this group of writers is the BEST he's ever worked with.

Traci's voice cut in, saying it was time to wrap it up; I picked up my phone and asked if I could take a quick selfie; he said sure, then noticed my button on my shirt, and mentioned how the Shaun Cassidy Fan Convention had done so much good for his charities, and how he was touched that I was a part of it.  I confess to having rather tunnel vision at this point, and only replied 'Yup!', as I was trying to be fast, and get both of us in the shot!

I then asked one more question:  Do back up singers receive Grammy Awards, if they're backing up a solo artist?  

"That's a really good question!  I'm not sure, but I believe if they're part of a band, such as The Rolling Stones, then yes.  But a solo artist?  Probably not.  But anyone can get a ticket to the Grammy's; not just the nominees."

I thanked him profusely for his time, and said I hoped to see him and the entire band in 2022, and when he said goodbye, the link severed.

I laid back on my bed and sighed....I had just had a professional chat with my Teen Idol from nearly 43 years ago!!! Then smacked myself; I'd forgotten to ask if I could be his back up singer!!  I also forgot to tell him I couldn't be at the November event, as I was already booked, but was semi-seriously thinking about getting someone to man my table while I attended HIS show.  Yes, the things you wish you said....darn time limit.....

Maybe next year, I'll get a better picture....

My former 12 y/o self is still very happy today!

Teen Dream Come True!

I need to preface this with a flashback story.

Back in 1978, I was madly 'in love' with Shaun Cassidy.  His posters adorned my bedroom walls.  I sang his songs to the radio, and played his records on my stereo. 

I found out he was coming to Indianapolis on (yikes!) Palm Sunday, and begged my mother to buy tickets.

Her response?  "No; it's a Family Get Together, and you're not going."

I was crushed.

The day of the concert, I moped all the way to Granny's house, thinking my cousin and I would commiserate together.

But when we arrived....

"Where's Michele?"

"She's down at Market Square Arena at the Shaun Cassidy concert."

"MO-OMMM!!!!"

I don't think I spoke to anyone the rest of the day.

Fast-forward to 2019.  I discovered he's touring again, so I bought tickets to the Atlanta show, since the Nashville Meet-n-Greet was sold out, and Atlanta wasn't.  

Covid hit, and the concert was canceled.  I stupidly took store credit for my purchases.

Oct 2020:  Tickets go on sale in Nashville, and while there were no plans for a M-n-G, I bought new tickets to the show.  Due to CV, it's postponed until Sept.  A few months later, they open up the M-n-G tickets, and bingo!  Bought 'em.

But there's a hitch.  The new postponed date is over Labor Day weekend, which is a Blackout Day at my Evening Job.  No worries; I'll get someone to cover.  Then we learn we have to be FULLY vaxxed or show a negative test.  I opted for the test.

M-n-G is cancelled; they're doing a Zoom virtual one.  No problem.  I sold one of my M-n-Gs, and found a coworker to cover for me, AND a friend to go with me.

We have arrived!  After stopping a young lady to inquire about how the parking worked, I paid the $15 for 6 hours' worth of parking.  Hallelujia; we don't have to drive around and search for parking!  (We'd arrived just after 4pm Nashville time; our dinner reservations were for 4:30, and the doors opened at 6.)

Then Elaine and I discovered our home CV tests weren't valid, but no worries; for $15 we can take another one.  We swab our nasal cavities painlessly and go back outside to wait 10 minutes.

That's where we discovered the young lady we spoke to in the parking lot was traveling by herself, so we invited her to sit with us at dinner.

Lisa Kemmling (flowered shirt), Elaine Litherland (black shirt), and yours truly as we waited for our food and drinks.

I'd ordered the Mushroom-Goat cheese-Risotto Balls and they were AMAZING!!!  I also had a glass of the Debutane sweet white wine.  Later, Lisa bought me another one.

Around 6:30, after finishing our meal (I also had a chicken alfredo flatbread pizza and Elaine had dessert), we were escorted to our seats, Table 55, two rows up from the front, and center stage.  I also bought the hooded sweatshirt with the Magic of the Midnight Sky logo on the back.  Lisa's seat was in the front table.

While we waited, we noticed a slight commotion along the far wall behind me.  I told E it looked like Patrick Cassidy, so we grabbed our phones (along with  Lisa), and went over to have our pictures taken with him.

He was so sweet!  I introduced myself and told him how much I'd enjoyed watching his son Jack on The Voice in 2019, and that I'd been a fan of the entire family since watching Partridge Family on TV.

Lisa didn't have a camera on her phone, so I used mine for her photo.  I didn't realize I'd photo-bombed her!

Then the lights went down and the man of the hour appeared!  I think he's playing Magic of the Midnight Sky here....I was singing along to his next son, That's Rock-n-Roll!

He moved back and forth from guitar to piano, and here he is, just after taking off his jacket and talking to us as he rolled up his sleeves.

I think here he's talking about his childhood, and how he has PTSD 'because some of you acted crazy....you chased me; you ripped my clothes; you climbed on my car; you pulled my hair...." All said in humor, of course!

He did a tribute to his brother David; here, he's playing I'll Meet You Halfway.

This was one of his final flourishes on Da Doo Run Run...."Here's my final secret of the night:  I have no idea what Da Doo Run Run means!"

The Shaun Sisters took a group shot afterwards, and we joked about how awesome it would be if Shaun were to photo-bomb us!  But no....

All in all, I spent way too much $$ on food, but it was worth the 3 hour drive to finally fulfill a 43 y/o dream.  I still hope he comes back to Indiana, but if he returns to Nashville again, I WILL buy tickets, and try to get a front-row seat again.  Friend Penny (2nd from right in back row) handed him her linen napkin when he expressed a need for a towel (and then tossed it back to her!), and during Da Doo Run Run, he asked members for their names..."I met her on a Sunday and her name was Dawn....I hope I don't play any of these chords wrong..."  and "I met her on a Sunday and her name was Tanya (girl in black on left)...".and I can't remember what he used to rhyme with her name!

I had many Shaun Sisters come up to me and tell me they almost wore their shirts, but we all had our buttons on!

My 12-y/o self is very happy right now.