Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Cabin Fever

Currently Reading: Enjoyed KT's How To Cure a Cajun Cold. Sweet story, and like me, he sprinkles pop culture references in. There were several songs I'd forgotten about! And it's always nice to read something written from a guy's point of view!

My spouse has it. And unfortunately is taking out his frustration in a rather childish way.

WARNING: The following is a rant. If you want good news, check the blogs to the right. I'm rather pissed at the moment.

Some background info: This is a man who doesn't take responsibility for ANYTHING, unless it gives him an excuse to play the martyr. Then he fully embraces his 'responsibility', since it gives him the reason to whine and complain about his situation. Get over it already! But I digress.

His blood sugar went off the charts last week, and through added medication, healthier snacks, and a slight increase in activity, it is down to 240 (yesterday's test). He's used this info to complain about my cooking habits (which, as it turned out, when I followed the diabetic cooking guidelines, not that much had to change!), this town (normal complaining), and the kids' habits in general.

But he's added a new twist. For instance, someone spilled something on the top shelf of the fridge. He had "too many things in his hands" as he was reaching for the jar of pickles, and it stuck, causing my bottle of creamer to fall to the floor. So what's his response? "F--- it. I'm not cleaning it up." And though he did pick the bottle off the floor, he did NOT clean up the teaspoon of cream which leaked out.

Fast-forward to yesterday. He informs me the fridge needs a thorough cleaning, as this incident happened SATURDAY night, and he's 'too tired' of cleaning up other people's messes. Oh, and he also tossed in the dig that 'now you're a famous author, you can't be bothered to do menial tasks like clean the fridge or fill my medicine tray.'

HUH???? (head scratch moment...)

Let's recap something.
-For the past 6 years, I have faithfully doled out his medicine. I keep track of when it needs reordered, and I know exactly how much each dose is.

-I'm not 'famous' yet. And yes, that has no bearing on my thinking I'm 'too good' to take care of my family!

-If the position were reversed, and I had left the spill on the floor, I would have cleaned it up, not waited 3 days to tell anyone! But hey, that's just me. I spill something, I clean it up immediately...not wait for the maid or my mom to do it...oh wait. We don't HAVE a maid, and his mom is in the nursing home...

-If I HAD left it on the floor (or even if one of the kids had done it), do you think he would have been understanding? Nooooo....I can hear him now..."Get your ass in there and clean the damn thing up!"

-The Head Start moms are starting a 'Walk off the Wiggles' program, and I invited him to start walking with me today. His response? "That 10-block walk to CVS with S the other day damn near did me in..."(Round trip) So he got the exercise bike out of storage. Has he used it? No, but the toddler loves to sit on it and try to use it, and my daughter discovered she can pedal and play Guitar Hero at the same time (and only miss 4 notes! I was impressed...)!

And when I asked him, in a very neutral tone of voice, why he was choosing to act this way, he blamed the weather, his upbringing, and the fact he reeeeeeaaaaallllly wants to go back to the pipeline, and he hopes the economy lets him have a job this year. And then he started slamming the politicians, which I won't go into.

So in other words, he's depressed about the economic situation; he's feeling the pressure of being the sole wage-earner; he's beginning to panic about how to pay for K's college tuition; and the added pressure that he can't retire at 55 after all, because of the toddler and because the way the health insurance is set up through the union. But does he acknowledge any of this? Nooooo, because then that would mean he is (gasp!) responsible for his actions!

For the past 18 years, I've observed him gripe about the way his dad rigged things together, never doing it 'right' the first time. Well, guess who now does the same thing, only he doesn't recognize the fact he's doing it? 'I'll fix it later, after I get back to work...'

His relatives don't own their problems. Everything is the fault of everyone else; never because of their own actions. It drives me crazy, and after we interact with them, he complains about their 'constant griping' about everyone else! Hmmm...maybe I ought to start recording some of his rants and play them back sometime...

Okay; rant over. I'm off to shower and go walk off my frustration and interact with people who don't tear me down on a daily basis.

Also discovered one of my old HS classmates died last night. We had briefly reconnected on FaceBook two weeks ago. I remember sharing a class with her our sophomore year, but didn't really know her. Still, it's scary to think someone my age has died. And no clue as to why.


Bronwyn Green said...

Hey Molly, I'm so sorry. The truth of the matter is no one gets what they hoped for/planned on. That's life. It's what you do with the one you have that counts. I'm so sorry he's not seeing that. {{{Hugs}}}

Anny Cook said...

On the other hand... he sounds pretty much like most men I know. Not fun when they're bitching, but that seems to be a very male trait.

I did once turn the tables on mine. Sat down on the kitchen floor and had a full-blown tantrum. He very quietly slunk out to the garage and didn't come back in the house for the rest of the day. Heh.

As for meds... the h/h takes care of his own because I refuse to take on his responsibilities. That's just my take on it. Every couple has to work that stuff out.

Molly Daniels said...

Sorry about that...me yelling at him gets me nowhere, so I vent at all you guys!

This will teach me to do my QT FIRST...today's topic was rising above adversity!

I'd still like to take the cast-iron skillet to his head...

Walked 4 miles and came home to snide remarks. 'Yup, you just can't live w/o being on that computer, can you?'

Of course not, you idiot! That's my JOB!

He's out, paying bills at the moment!

barbara huffert said...

My ex used to pull this sort of thing. My solution, to go on strike and let him try to fend for himself. Amazing how apologetic he got within days.